Hey there! I noticed your friend request pop up on Wednesday, and although my high school memories of you are a bit fuzzy, I clicked accept. Just 19 seconds later, I received a notification that I was added to your “Super Special Scented Thirty-One Jamberry Bonanza!” Facebook group. Oh, what a delight!
Just me and 400 of your closest pals.
So here’s the deal: NO. You seemed friendly, or at least you did for those 19 seconds, so let’s be real: I’m not interested in buying any of the stuff you’re trying to sell. The jewelry, the nails, the skincare, the candles, the whole “lifestyle” package. Before you get your $75 CAbi knickers in a twist, let me explain: I’ve been there, done that. I’ve spent my money. Once upon a time, I was the nice one who said “yes” to everything. But you know what? It never stops. I’m over it. I don’t even buy from my actual friends and family anymore, so please spare me.
Look, I totally understand your desire for independence and a way to earn cash from home. I’m genuinely happy you found a “sisterhood,” or whatever you call it. It sounds like you’ve found an amazing community (cult?) you adore. Just keep me and my wallet out of it.
If I get added to one more Facebook group, I might lose it. Seriously, what’s with all these groups? Am I your friend or just a potential sale? No means no. I’m not about to attend another neighborhood party to make small talk with someone I probably flicked off in the carpool line today, all while you guilt me into buying another purse I’ll never use. Just because I stress-ate your famous Buffalo chicken dip again doesn’t mean I’m buying anything. And telling me there will be “plenty of booze” isn’t a selling point. I can drink at home, thank you very much, and I don’t need to put on pants. You probably expect me to wear a bra too. Not happening!
You know who never asks me to put on pants? Amazon Prime.
No, I’m not interested in “just trying” your free samples. I don’t want a fajita pan, let alone turquoise decor for my kitchen. Seriously, no one wears that much turquoise unless they’re planning to retire in Santa Fe. I’m not trying on clothes in your hall closet, either. A room full of chattering women and 30 types of candles? No thanks. You lost 30 pounds on a shake? Good for you! But we both know those shakes taste like vegan sadness. Rubbing oil on my neck is not going to magically fix my thyroid. Oh, are you a doctor now? Your Ford Escape trunk is your office? Sounds legit.
And guess what? I don’t want 3-D lashes. Your face looks like a tarantula exhibit. There, I said it. “It Works!” Really? If one body wrap helped you, awesome. But you know what else works? Spanx. Just bought some online. Pantsless. Boom.
I’m not trying your skincare, and I’m definitely not committing to 30 days of anything. I could slather Elmer’s glue on my face for a month and still see a difference in Photoshop. I’m sticking with my Olay from the grocery store. Now I have to dodge you at the store, trying to avoid your “amazing opportunity” to host these parties. Please, for the love of all that is holy, just stop talking about your MLM, okay?
But what really bothers me isn’t the parties or the products themselves. Some of them might be great. The real issue is using friendships to recruit new members. You’re selling your friends, plain and simple. The whole thing feels like a coconut-scented pyramid scheme, no matter how nice the packaging. This is just my opinion, of course; I could be wrong. In fact, tell me I’m wrong! I’d love to hear your success stories and how much money you’re rolling in. But seriously, how much has gone out? Tell me how ecstatic you are to be a super successful MOMTREPRENEUR, and I’ll try not to roll my eyes every time you say that term.
No rush; I’m sure you’ll call me when you return from your all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii.
In conclusion, if I receive one more Jamberry party invite, I just might have to “Jamberry” my foot up your backside.
Good chat. Bye!
For more insights into home insemination, check out this resource. If you’re looking for more information about artificial insemination options, Make a Mom is an excellent authority on the subject. Also, for those curious about infertility, the CDC offers a wealth of information.
Summary:
Navigating social media can be tricky, especially when it comes to MLM invitations and friend requests that lead to instant sales pitches. Many people feel overwhelmed by constant invitations to parties and products they don’t want, leading to frustration and a desire to maintain boundaries in friendships. It’s important to appreciate the entrepreneurial spirit behind these ventures but also recognize the discomfort that can arise from blending relationships with sales.