20 Ways I Struggle as a Crunchy Mom

  1. I chose a hospital for my deliveries. As soon as the epidurals were an option, I was all in. I appreciated the gleaming medical equipment and supportive staff who guided me through the process. It’s not for everyone, but it suited me fine.
  2. Disposable diapers are our go-to. I mean, who wants to deal with the hassle of rinsing out poopy cloth diapers?
  3. I don’t make my own jams from homegrown berries. Honestly, my life is busy enough without adding that to my to-do list.
  4. Yes, my kids have plastic toys. They might prefer sticks and rocks anyway, but those colorful toys are still part of our home.
  5. I’m a firm believer in vaccinations. I follow the pediatrician’s schedule because it works for us—no judgment, please!
  6. Co-sleeping? Nope. I need my sleep to be the best parent I can be.
  7. Sometimes I forget my reusable bags. The horror, right? I often find myself apologizing in the checkout line while trying to come up with a valid excuse.
  8. If we had to rely on our own gardening skills for food, we’d be in big trouble. I can’t even remember to water my plants!
  9. Velveeta is a guilty pleasure of mine. It’s my secret stash of melty goodness—don’t tell my neighbors!
  10. I only do yoga for the aesthetic benefits. When the instructor asks for intentions, mine secretly revolves around toning up!
  11. We’re not vegans or vegetarians. Bacon is a beloved staple in our home, and we enjoy it on everything.
  12. We watch shows and movies, including Netflix, without owning a television. Our old one broke, but we have every other device to keep us entertained.
  13. I wear shoes and bras. Well, most of the time, especially if I’m heading out somewhere nice.
  14. I use soap, but I’ll confess I don’t shower every day (please, no hate mail). Soap is still part of my routine, though!
  15. I don’t grind my own grain for bread. I wouldn’t even know where to start with that!
  16. I don’t buy into the idea that coconut oil is a cure-all. It might help with some things, but not everything.
  17. When we’re sick, we visit a doctor. I believe they do their best to help us feel better.
  18. I don’t homeschool my kids. They ride the bus to public school, and it’s a great way for them to learn and grow.
  19. I think Brewer’s yeast pretending to be popcorn seasoning is a crime. Popcorn deserves better!
  20. And no, I’ve never made kale chips. At this rate, I might get kicked out of the crunchy mom club.

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I realize I don’t fit the mold of a “crunchy” mom, but I’m doing what works for me. So, dear friends, please keep chatting with me, but maybe skip the invite to the placenta-eating gathering.

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Summary:

In this lighthearted post, I share my humorous struggles as a “crunchy” mom, from choosing disposable diapers to enjoying the occasional Velveeta. I embrace my own parenting style, even if it doesn’t always align with the crunchy mom stereotype.

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