This is motherhood as I see it. It may not align with your vision of motherhood, and it definitely doesn’t match the glossy portrayals we see in commercials, social media, or mainstream narratives.
As parents, we are bombarded with messages about what it means to be a mother, how mothering should look, and even how it should feel. These societal expectations are so entrenched that we often overlook them—until we realize we don’t fit the traditional mold.
On one hand, mothers are often placed on a pedestal, celebrated as if they were saints. Yet, simultaneously, we face unrealistic standards, leading to judgment and shaming when we fail to measure up.
I’ll admit: I often breathe a sigh of relief when Mother’s Day is behind us. In the lead-up to the holiday, the pressure to embody an idealized version of motherhood escalates.
Mother’s Day is a complex occasion, much like motherhood itself. While I’m grateful for my wonderful mom, I recognize that many people don’t share that experience. Some mothers and children are estranged, while others are grappling with grief over loss. There are those who long to become mothers but face challenges, and mothers who feel overwhelmed in the chaotic journey of parenting.
Though many enjoy beautiful relationships and celebrations on Mother’s Day, the reality is that motherhood is multifaceted and often messy. It’s hard not to think back to my first Mother’s Day when I was struggling with postpartum depression, wishing I could escape the responsibilities of being a mother while forcing a smile through the day’s events. I remember one year when I dozed off on the couch in front of guests while still reeling from pregnancy hormones after a miscarriage. And I can’t forget the numerous holidays spent navigating the emotional rollercoaster of infertility treatments.
Motherhood is intricate, and for many, Mother’s Day can be particularly difficult.
Over nearly a decade of being a mother, I’ve come to understand that the shiny images of motherhood—like those glorified on Mother’s Day—don’t resonate with my experience. That’s perfectly fine because motherhood is unique to each individual.
This snapshot of me and my kids in the minivan on our way to school is what motherhood means to me. It’s not about brunch or picturesque beach days. It’s devoid of filters and hashtags, makeup or fancy outfits. It’s simply me and my boys navigating life together.
I’m confident that when my children reflect on their upbringing, they won’t recall a glamorous mom at a fancy brunch. Instead, they will remember a mom in yoga pants, tired but present, sharing our messy minivan on the way to various activities. They’ll remember our little squabbles and heartfelt reconciliations during those short car rides. They’ll recall me telling them to “Be kind!” as they leave the car and eagerly asking them who they were kind to when they return.
This is their version of motherhood with me.
And when I look back on this period of motherhood, I doubt I’ll remember gifts or cards. Instead, I’ll cherish the paper hearts my younger son decorated our home with, and how my older son reminds me to ask about kindness if I forget. I’ll treasure all those drives to and from school.
Motherhood is different for everyone. It carries various meanings, emotions, and complexities. While it’s often messy and challenging, it’s also profoundly beautiful—not just on Mother’s Day, but every day.
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In conclusion, motherhood is a rich tapestry of experiences that vary widely among individuals. It’s a journey filled with ups and downs, but ultimately, it is a beautiful experience that shapes our lives in unique ways.