I often come across memes and social media posts that resonate with mothers navigating the complex emotions of parenthood. We laugh about our desperate need for coffee in the morning and the way we indulge in a glass (or two) of wine by evening just to cope. We share an understanding that those perfectly curated Instagram photos of happy babies don’t always reflect reality; they are often counterbalanced by images of toddlers creating chaos, like dunking their heads in toilets or splattering paint everywhere.
These shared experiences can be comforting, reminding us that we’re not alone in our struggles. However, they often mask a deeper issue: the mom chugging her fifth cup of coffee may be sleep-deprived and feeling isolated, while the one who started with a glass of wine might now find herself relying on it just to unwind. The friend who keeps canceling plans could be grappling with anxiety that makes it hard for her to leave the house.
Despite the common refrain that women should support one another instead of judging, many find it difficult to be open about their challenges. I, too, have my own struggles, and I’ve found solace in my weekly therapy sessions. While I don’t feel the need to hide my attendance, I’ve often been met with comments like, “You seem so happy! Do you really need a therapist?” Such remarks, while well-meaning, can carry an undertone of shame rather than support.
The truth is, it’s often easier for women to share tales of self-sabotage than to highlight instances of self-care. For instance, we might joke about bingeing on brownies after a tough day instead of discussing the importance of making time for healthy meals, yoga classes, or therapy appointments. It’s a shame that women who prioritize their well-being are sometimes stigmatized. Seeking therapy is not just acceptable; it’s commendable. Engaging in personal growth is challenging, requiring one to confront fears, navigate uncomfortable emotions, and accept the realities we cannot change. Yet this journey leads to a powerful sense of empowerment.
I embarked on my own therapeutic journey when anxiety began affecting my sleep. Initially, I sought help without fully understanding the changes I needed in my life. Fast forward a few years, and my world transformed completely. I felt a newfound courage and independence. I even thought I no longer needed therapy.
Years later, while away from home, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and noticed a painful bruise on my eye—an unsettling reminder that the emotionally abusive relationship I was trying to escape had escalated to physical violence. Despite feeling content in other areas of my life, I was paralyzed by the situation and felt isolated. Trusting anyone seemed impossible, but I recognized the need for that safe space again, leading me back to my therapist. Her genuine concern during that session validated my feelings, and with the support of family and friends, I was able to regain my freedom.
That was years ago, and I continue my weekly therapy sessions. My life now reflects the growth I’ve achieved. I’ve found true love, and my husband and I are blessed with a beautiful daughter. Our families have come together to support us in a way that fills me with gratitude. Each day, I strive to balance my family life with a career I am passionate about.
So, to those who ask: Yes, I am genuinely happy. I discuss my happiness and the challenges of transitioning into marriage and motherhood during therapy. I share the heartache of leaving my daughter each morning and express my deep appreciation for the caring people who help support us. I also share the admiration I feel for the incredible women I work with, who are also balancing families and careers, each demanding a unique blend of patience and dedication.
Through this experience, I hope to emphasize the significance of empathy. When we practice empathy, we foster understanding and acceptance—qualities we often seek when scrolling through our social feeds or reminiscing about nights spent with friends. If a woman opens up to you about her joys or struggles, be empathetic and supportive; you might just be the lifeline she needs.
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In summary, therapy has played a crucial role in my journey toward happiness and self-care, and I encourage others to seek support, whether through therapy or community.