My partner and I recently marked our 12th wedding anniversary, and as I reflect on our journey, it’s both unique and quite ordinary—extraordinary only to us. The short story: We first crossed paths over 16 years ago on a sweltering August day during our law school orientation. The longer version? It includes a series of awkward phone conversations, some shared burritos, a few too many cosmos, a late-night drive in a hatchback, and lots of friendly debates about what actually counts as our first date.
Now, I could romanticize it and say it was love at first sight. I could describe the moment with poetic flair, calling him my “soul mate” and posting photos with #soblessed. But that’s not quite how it happened, and frankly, seeing #soblessed used to describe relationships makes me cringe. So, I won’t go there.
Our love story is, in many respects, just like countless others—two people who met, dated, fell in love, and ultimately decided that, yes, this was the person to argue with over the remote control. This is the person I want to bicker with about credit card bills, 529 plans, and whether or not we really need a new couch. This is the person whose snoring I’ve learned to tolerate. This is the person I want to navigate life with.
Like many couples, my partner and I found each other in our early 20s. While we felt mature and worldly, we were still naive and innocent, making me smile at our youthful optimism. We were adventurous and spontaneous, but we also had a blast together. As Paul Valery once said, “Love is being stupid together.” Indeed, we were goofy and head over heels, though sometimes just a bit too wild. As the years passed, we matured. Our love remained strong, albeit in a more composed manner—we’re simply too tired to be reckless anymore.
In long-term relationships, there comes a time when you’ve spent more years together than apart. We are nearing that milestone. There are so many wonderful aspects to marriage or any long-term partnership—friendship, companionship, and a bond that deepens over time as life throws its challenges your way. It’s a partnership rooted not only in love and passion but also in teamwork, respect, and appreciation. It’s the comfort of knowing you’ve got each other’s back—even when you may be rolling your eyes behind their back.
One of the most beautiful aspects of meeting your partner at a young age is the opportunity to grow together. My partner and I experienced our wild and reckless 20s—full of passion, indulgence, and a few bad choices. Then we transitioned through our more settled 30s—marked by exhaustion, gratitude, and fewer reckless decisions.
As I stand on the brink of the next decade, I’m uncertain about what life will bring us. I’m unsure how we will evolve, both as individuals and as a couple. But what I do know—what I realized back then and still believe now—is that there’s no one else I would rather face the unknown future with than him. Isn’t that what marriage is really about? Growing up, growing old, and sometimes being silly together.
Marriage is knowing there’s no one else I’d rather be foolish with than him. No one else I’d prefer to grow alongside, and no one I’d choose to age with—eventually, of course. Because we’re not old yet, darn it.
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Summary: Finding your partner in your 20s allows you to grow together through life’s ups and downs. While every love story may seem ordinary, the shared experiences and maturity developed over the years create a bond that is anything but. Embracing the journey of growing up, growing old, and being a little silly alongside your partner is what makes the relationship a beautiful adventure.