Sometimes, an unexpected moment can remind us of what truly matters in parenting.
“No, Mom! Go away!”
Her words stung, and even though I knew she didn’t fully understand their weight at just two years old, it didn’t lessen the impact. In that moment, I envisioned her growing up—her baby face fading away, her eyes narrowing with teenage angst, and the little girl I adored transforming into a young woman facing the world.
I could hear those words coming from a deeper voice, one that echoed with the confidence of adolescence, and I felt the years of missed conversations, closed doors, and silent treatments flash before me.
I froze. My daughter went back to her play kitchen, engrossed in her world of plastic fruits and vegetables, while I was left speechless and motionless.
As a writer, I often share the struggles and joys of motherhood, particularly during those tumultuous toddler years. I talk about sleepless nights, the tantrums over strollers, and the meltdowns over juice versus milk. It’s tough being a parent—feeling yourself unravel under the demands of a tiny human. The relentless cycle of sleepless nights fueled by too much coffee can wear anyone down. We all crave empathy and support, a sense of community to reassure us that we’re not alone in this journey.
But expressing frustration doesn’t mean I dislike being a mother or, even worse, that I don’t love my child. I cherish her deeply. Yes, there are moments of frustration, but it’s that very love that sometimes leads to my anger. I want the best for her, and that passion can elevate my stress levels.
Are there phases I wish I could skip? Absolutely! Can we bypass toilet training and the infamous “threenager” stage? Yes, please! However, there are also aspects of this age that I want to hold on to as long as possible and things I already miss.
I long for that “new baby” scent—the sweet smell of the top of her head or the back of her neck. I still try to cuddle her close, but she wriggles away, captivated by the world beyond me. And when I do manage to catch a whiff, it’s often mixed with the scents of sweat, Play-Doh, and sometimes, well, less pleasant odors.
I miss how she used to fit snugly against my hip, or how she would gaze into my eyes while strapped to my chest, her smile just for me. I miss those moments when she would fall asleep on me or when she’d snuggle in our bed, content with simple tickles and quiet conversations. Those were perfect moments.
That said, nostalgia won’t lead me to regret. I won’t tell every expectant mother to “savor every moment” because not every day flies by. Some days drag—days filled with battles over naps, food thrown in frustration, and chaotic moods. There are days when illness hits the family hard, and everything feels overwhelming. Some days just plain suck.
We need to create a space where parents can express both their struggles and triumphs freely. We should encourage open, honest conversations without judgment. Parents should feel free to vent without being met with a chorus of “look at how beautiful it all is” or “how blessed you are.” We must allow diverse parenting styles and experiences without creating divisions among us.
In the end, we all want the same thing: the best for our children. It’s essential to support one another because, ultimately, we’re all in this together.
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Summary
Talking about the struggles of motherhood is crucial for creating a supportive community. Parents need the space to express their feelings—both the beautiful and the challenging—without judgment. Acknowledging the difficulties while celebrating the joys helps foster understanding and connection among families.