Parenting
The Unique Connection Between Boys and Their Moms
by Lisa Thompson
Updated: Feb. 1, 2020
Originally Published: Sep. 3, 2016
When my husband and I welcomed our first two children, both were girls, and I couldn’t have been happier. I connected with them in ways I never imagined possible. I understood their world, and it was a blast.
Then came our third child—a boy. Inside, I panicked a bit. How was I going to navigate life with a little dude? The thought of not grasping his needs or, worse, not being able to love him as fiercely as I did my daughters haunted me.
Moms of boys kept insisting that the bond between a mother and her son was unparalleled, but I just couldn’t see it. I thought they were simply “boy moms” who adored their sons, while I was still grappling with my own apprehensions. Admitting I wasn’t ready for a boy felt like a betrayal.
Fast forward to the arrival of our son, and let me tell you, those other moms were onto something. Over the past seven years, I’ve discovered a relationship that’s downright magical. As much as I cherish my daughters, the connection with my son is entirely different—almost like a secret club that only we belong to.
One of my biggest worries was how energetic boys tend to be. Our first daughter was delightfully chill, and while our second daughter had her moments of wildness, they were nothing compared to the tornado that is my son. He’s what you’d call “all boy,” full of boundless energy and a penchant for roughhousing. But alongside that wildness is a sweetness that melts my heart. When he snuggles up, it’s like he’s trying to become one with me. In his preschool days, he’d grab my face, showering me with kisses, declaring, “Mommy, I just love you soooo much!” He’s even suggested marrying me more than once—talk about a heartthrob!
And let’s be honest; my affection for him is different too. I can resist my daughters’ puppy dog eyes without breaking a sweat, but my son? He’s a charmer. Perhaps it’s because he’s the youngest, but even my husband finds himself wrapped around our daughters’ little fingers. For me, when my son flashes his grin, I’m utterly defenseless.
I never expected this level of difference. I usually shy away from attributing specific traits to gender since it sounds a bit old-fashioned. But my experience has shown me that boys have a unique adoration for their mamas, and I feel that love, too.
Sure, I still wrestle with uncertainties about raising a son. I wouldn’t trade my bond with my daughters for anything, as they truly resonate with me. But my son has carved out a space in my heart that I didn’t even know existed. I’ve been completely transformed by this little boy.
Other moms—whether they have boys, girls, or both—often share similar sentiments about the special bond with their sons. And I’ve heard from seasoned moms that this affection doesn’t fade; it’s a lifelong connection. I’m holding onto that belief because the thought of it not being true would break my heart.
One day, my sweet boy will grow into a wonderful man. He’ll find other loves along the way, and I’ll gladly step back for them. But I know, deep down, there will always be a cherished spot in his heart for me. Nothing can replicate that bond between a mother and her son.
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