I have two daughters, each with their own unique personalities, along with a son as well. In this piece, I’d like to focus on my girls. My eldest, Mia, is a bundle of energy. She’s lively, loud, and always on the move. People often describe her as having “character,” a term I usually reserve for things with a distinctive flavor, like a good wine. Reactions to Mia’s spirited nature vary; some admire her vivacity, while others express disbelief at her boisterousness.
In stark contrast, my middle child, Lily, embodies quietness. No one ever uses the word “character” to describe her. Instead, I often hear comments like, “She should speak up more” or “She doesn’t seem to have her own opinions.” These were sentiments echoed during her recent evaluation at daycare, where the staff noted that her reserved demeanor set her apart from her more outspoken peers. They told me with concern, “She’s not engaging with the other kids; she just sits there.”
I truly understand both my daughter’s behavior and the staff’s feedback. For too long, we’ve encouraged our daughters to be more subdued compared to our sons, who we allow to be vocal and energetic. Now, we are striving to empower our girls to express themselves confidently and assertively.
In our efforts to promote social interaction among girls, we often fret when they prefer solitary play. While some introverted children like Lily need a nudge to explore new experiences, they also require the space to engage in individual play or small groups where they can flourish. This creates a tricky balance between encouragement and allowing them to be themselves.
The challenge lies in how we discern Lily’s needs and desires when her voice often gets drowned out by the more assertive children around her. The societal push for children to be heard can create a noisy environment that doesn’t necessarily support quieter kids. Instead of empowering them, it may stifle their unique expressions.
There seems to be a fascination with assertive children, leading us to worry unnecessarily when our little introverts are “too quiet.” We mistakenly equate their quietness with a lack of character or backbone and often label them as “boring.”
However, I know there’s no reason for concern. Lily has her own thoughts and preferences, and she communicates them in her own way. When she dislikes something, she firmly states “no” without causing a scene. Unlike her older sister, who may throw tantrums, Lily exhibits what I like to call “nonviolent resistance.” No matter the tactics I employ—be it pleading or even performing somersaults—she remains steadfast. Some might see this as stubbornness, but I see it as persistence.
Her calm demeanor and adaptability don’t equate to a lack of character. In fact, when we refer to something as having character, we mean it possesses intriguing and nuanced traits—much like Lily. She has just as much character as her more outgoing peers; it’s simply expressed differently. If we shifted our perspective and stopped labeling these children as “too quiet,” we might start to recognize the rich depth of their personalities.
For more insights on nurturing unique personalities, you can check out this post about home insemination. Additionally, for those seeking guidance on enhancing fertility, Make a Mom offers valuable resources. For further information on pregnancy, Healthline provides excellent resources.
In summary, quiet children like Lily possess their own form of character that deserves recognition and appreciation. By embracing their individuality and listening to their unique voices, we can help them thrive in a world that often favors the loud and boisterous.