Updated: May 5, 2016
Some people seem to have everything figured out. They drop their kids off at school looking polished, with their hair styled and makeup flawless. These individuals have already completed their morning routines, are dressed appropriately, and often submit permission slips ahead of time. They even send out birthday cards well in advance, just to be on the safe side. And let’s not forget—they’re always five minutes early to every event.
Then there are the rest of us.
If you’re wondering whether you’re a procrastinator parent, here are some telltale signs:
- You wait for the gas light to illuminate before driving another 20 miles until you’re almost out of fuel.
- Your car has actually run out of gas—not just once, but multiple times.
- You delay planning vacations so much that when your break arrives, you end up enjoying a staycation instead.
- It’s 5:30 p.m. and your hair is still damp when your partner arrives home because you just hopped in the shower.
- The kids in your carpool know you as the one who wears slippers and mutters at every red light.
- By the time you think to buy Valentine’s Day treats, the store is already filled with Easter goodies.
- You only purchase belated birthday cards.
- You forget to send out your water bill until you find that dreaded pink “service interruption” notice on your front door.
- When you finally take down your holiday lights, they’re surrounded by budding spring flowers, so you just leave them for the next season.
- By the time you get around to wearing the latest styles, they’ve already become retro.
- You tidy up for visitors just as the doorbell rings, hastily shoving items into the nearest closet.
- Your laundry pile grows until you’ve worn everything twice, at which point you Febreeze them for a quick refresh.
- You finish reading your book club selection after the discussion has already taken place.
- Five minutes late? That counts as “on time” in your world.
- Thanks to Amazon Prime, you order everything from birthday gifts to toilet paper about half an hour before you actually need it.
- You spend hours researching trivial things, like “best tweezers for stray chin hairs” or “top songs from 1986,” when you should be tackling a work project due tomorrow.
- Your daily workout consists of sprinting five blocks to catch the commuter train.
- You remember to schedule your annual gynecological exam only after you’ve run out of birth control pills.
- The library fines you’ve accrued for overdue books exceed your most recent credit card bill.
- Discovering just a half-empty jar of strawberry jam and some moldy cottage cheese in the fridge is your cue to finally go grocery shopping.
- You celebrated your 10th wedding anniversary a full 11 years after tying the knot.
- By the time you think to make dinner reservations for date night, the only available slot is at 5:15 p.m. for the early bird special—perfect, since you’ll both be asleep by 9:30 anyway.
If you’re one of those organized folks who seems to have it all under control, we admire you. Seriously, we do. But if you identify more with the procrastinator parent, take heart. You’re not alone, and there are some perks to this laid-back lifestyle. For example, oh no, look at the time! I’m late to pick up my kids from school!
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In summary, being a procrastinator parent comes with its own bundle of quirks, mishaps, and some unexpected advantages. While others might have their lives meticulously organized, we thrive in the chaos, proving that sometimes, it’s okay to embrace the delay.