Parenting
Hey there, kiddos! I have some important life lessons to share, and the first one is how to not be a jerk. This involves learning to share, being compassionate, practicing kindness, and putting in the effort. However, based on the current state of our home, it seems I’ve overlooked a crucial lesson that falls under the “don’t be a jerk” category: Please, for the love of everything holy, put your things where they belong!
If you need a little guidance, allow me to break it down for you. All the mess scattered around our house? Believe it or not, every item has a designated spot. (I know, shocking!) Here are a few key places:
The Trash Can
I’m getting tired of digging out flattened snack wrappers from between the couch cushions. Our living room floor looks like a recycling center for granola bar packaging. The plastic wrappers from string cheese — and sometimes the half-eaten, petrified cheese itself — are all over your bedroom (where you’re not even allowed to eat, but that’s a discussion for another time). Juice boxes, tape balls, paper scraps, chewed gum, sticks, bottle caps, and all the other treasures you drag in from outside — they all belong in that rectangular plastic bin in the kitchen, commonly known as “the trash” or “the garbage.”
The Dishwasher
Apparently, you think that dirty dishes magically return to the cabinet sparkling clean. Spoiler alert: That magical fairy is actually called “Mom,” and she’s getting pretty fed up. Honestly, the time I spend gathering crusty bowls and rogue spoons could be spent on countless other things! Fortunately, we have a handy appliance in the kitchen that cleans your dishes for you. All you have to do is put them in. Open the door, pull out the rack, place your dish inside, and close the door. I know you can remember that sequence because I’ve seen you conquer complicated video games.
The Hamper
I understand that my taste in home decor may not align with yours, but that tall bin in the laundry room and the smaller ones in every bedroom aren’t just for decoration. They actually serve a purpose! That’s where your dirty clothes should go. I shouldn’t find them on the bathroom floor, in a trail leading from your room to the shower, or anywhere except for the designated clothes hamper.
The Closet
I know sometimes you need your shoes in a hurry when a friend comes knocking for a bike ride, but it only takes a few extra seconds to grab them from where they actually belong. Plus, it might save you time in the long run, considering you spend at least five minutes a day searching for where you last kicked them off.
The Toy Box
You know how items in a store are organized on shelves? That’s because if everything were scattered on the floor, it would be a total disaster — much like your bedroom when you don’t return your toys to their rightful place. Remember that box specifically for your toys? Oh yeah, the toy box!
The Toilet
While we’re discussing proper receptacles, let’s address where you should dispose of your bodily functions. There’s a hole with water in it—please aim there. Similarly, boogers don’t belong on walls, wiped on the side of your mattress, or on your fingers. That’s why I keep tissues handy throughout the house.
By providing this refresher on where everything goes, I’m aiming for a more organized home. Or at least one that doesn’t make me weep at the thought of cleaning up after you all day. You can assist with this, right? Because, in case I haven’t mentioned it, not being a jerk begins with being kind to your mother. For more insights into parenting and organization, check out this blog post.
For those looking into family planning, Cryobaby is a reputable online retailer for at-home insemination kits, and if you’re curious about the science behind it all, the Genetics and IVF Institute is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, let’s work together to keep our home tidy and show some respect for our spaces. After all, a little effort goes a long way in making life easier for everyone.
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