My husband and I are one of those unique couples who generally see eye to eye. We seldom squabble over the remote, we present a united front when it comes to parenting, and we both agree that “The Room” holds the title for the worst film ever made. We cherish summer evenings by the fire pit, and we’re in total harmony when we declare that autumn is the most beautiful season. We adore cozy wool socks, the aroma of Sunday dinner simmering in the slow cooker, and binge-watching political dramas.
At social gatherings, we often exchange knowing glances over chatty hosts and both dream of retiring by the beach. We share uncontrollable laughter over silly movie mishaps, and our inside jokes keep our spirits high. Our relationship thrives on compromise, mutual respect, and a shared love for dark chocolate.
But when politics enters the conversation, everything changes.
Two decades ago, when I first met my husband, my liberal views saw his conservative stance as an opportunity—a chance to sway him to my side of the aisle (notice I didn’t say “right”). At the start of our relationship, we consciously avoided political discussions, focusing instead on other aspects of our connection. However, as time went on, our stark differences became impossible to ignore. We clashed on issues like wages, abortion, immigration, and healthcare. Our discussions about taxes, social justice, and the death penalty often turned into animated debates, and we found ourselves tiptoeing around the topic to avoid conflict.
It wasn’t lost on me when my family sat on one side of the church and his on the other at our wedding—talk about reaching across the aisle!
Election season at our home resembles a lively circus. Our children watch us like spectators at a tennis match as we toss our political opinions back and forth at the dinner table. I express my frustrations about “his candidates,” while he raises his eyebrows at my rants about my favorites. During the 2004 election, our yard showcased both Kerry/Edwards and Bush/Cheney signs, much to our neighbors’ amusement as we playfully sabotaged each other’s campaigns. I still hear about the time I placed a Kerry sticker on his car!
Our debates during the 2008 McCain/Obama election were legendary. I proudly dressed our daughter in a pink Hillary shirt and texted my husband a photo of her casting her vote for a woman. When Obama won, I couldn’t resist my “I told you so” moment on inauguration day. Winning felt great, and I loved teasing him about it.
Despite our political disagreements and passionate arguments, I wouldn’t trade my marriage to a conservative for anything. My husband is exceptionally intelligent, and engaging him in political discourse keeps me sharp. His viewpoint challenges me and ensures I stay updated on liberal policies. There’s nothing quite like the thrill of going toe-to-toe with him and seeing that look of admiration when I make a solid point. I’m a fierce competitor, and he’s met his match.
Interestingly, our political debates have fostered compromise in other areas of our marriage. By genuinely listening to each other’s perspectives, we’ve cultivated mutual respect and appreciation for each other’s insights. I cherish that my husband has carefully considered his beliefs, even when they differ from mine.
We may be politically mismatched, but it works for us.
This election season has been particularly revealing for obvious reasons. My frustration with the Republican Party is at an all-time high, and my husband struggles to watch debates with me. Our dinner table discussions are heated, and our children are learning about the electoral process from both perspectives. They’re gaining valuable skills in forming informed opinions.
Recently, I asked my husband who he was voting for, and he smirked, saying, “I’m not sure yet, but definitely not Trump.” On that point, we find common ground. There’s hope for him yet…
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In summary, while my husband and I may have differing political views, our love and respect for each other transcend our debates. Engaging in political discussions has strengthened our relationship and taught our children the importance of understanding diverse perspectives.