Motherhood has transformed me into a stronger version of myself. It has dissected my being, shattered my comfort zones, and reassembled me into a more resilient individual. As a mom, I’ve learned to embody toughness.
It wasn’t always this way, though. When I welcomed my first child into the world, I was inexperienced, tender, and terrified. Here was this tiny, squirming being, no larger than a small puppy, slick with what resembled red jelly, wrinkled, and utterly dependent. The wailing echoed like a scene from a horror film—had I given birth to a banshee?
I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and, most importantly, lost. I was paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes. I worried about the baby crying in public, at home, or—horror of horrors—never stopping. I felt trapped at home, subservient to the demands of a tiny human who couldn’t even distinguish my face from his reflection. I was certain that everything had changed forever.
And it did.
Sleep became a distant memory, showers were a luxury, and stepping outside felt like embarking on an extreme expedition. With each child, the number of everyday tasks that turned into monumental challenges multiplied. One morning, I found myself on the bathroom floor, my 5-year-old treating tampons like boats in the toilet, my 2-year-old unraveling toilet paper and my sanity, while the baby rolled on the bathroom mat. Once again, I was ensnared by my worries.
- What if the toddler bolts in the store?
- What if the 4-year-old breaks something?
- What if they start fighting?
- What if the baby cries?
- What if I cry?
Then, something shifted within me—like a long-dormant power awakening. I stood up, a little bent but not broken. I flushed the tampons, tidied the toilet paper, and picked up the baby. I understood then that leaving the house would often lead to chaos, tears, and possibly humiliation. With three kids under 6, this was simply a given. I had two options: hide in the bathroom forever or embrace the beautiful mess that is motherhood.
Accepting this reality filled me with an unexpected strength. It felt as though a switch had flipped in my mind, granting me a sense of invincibility. I once hesitated to venture out with just one child, but with three, I’ve tackled shopping malls, coffee shops, libraries, and dentist appointments. I even took all three kids to the salon for a haircut. They were going to drive me crazy anyway, so I might as well make it worthwhile!
Now, I might appear disheveled and frazzled—my hair unkempt, clothes mismatched, with snot and peanut butter gracing my pants. But this is what real-life superheroes look like. I’m out there, getting things done, no matter the chaos.
Motherhood is not for the faint of heart, but every one of us has a warrior within, ready to emerge from beneath the worn-out clothes and show its strength. We navigate daily disasters, mediate conflicts, and repeatedly rescue little ones who would rather gnaw on rocks than eat vegetables. We are stunningly resilient and invincible.
So what if we leave a tiny trail of mayhem behind us at the store?
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In summary, motherhood has shaped me into a formidable force, transforming fear into strength and chaos into a beautiful journey of love and resilience.