We’ve all received those invites to multi-level marketing events, right? You know the ones where everyone seems to be selling personalized necklaces, scented candles, or an assortment of random items that end up cluttering our kitchen drawers. Most of us either ignore the Facebook invites or come up with some excuse about being busy. Unless I have a genuine fondness for the person hosting, I usually decline, pretending I’m one impulse buy away from financial ruin. But if you ever find yourself invited to an adult toy party with a bunch of your favorite friends, I wholeheartedly recommend you respond with a cheerful, “Absolutely, I can’t wait to explore all the fun toys in your living room!”
When I arrived at the adult toy gathering, my friend, who was hosting, had laid out a beautiful spread of snacks and a counter filled with wine. If you’re hosting a gathering—whether it’s a fancy tote bag event or anything else—just remember, more booze means more sales. Trust me on this. Arriving as a thoughtful guest, I brought along a tray of cookies shaped like… well, you know. I made both sugar and chocolate chip varieties, and they were a big hit! My repeated exclamations of “Have a cookie!” were met with laughter and cheers.
The sales representative from “Pleasure Palace” (not their actual name, but it should be) arrived and began to set up her display while we munched on crackers and those delightful cookies. To my dismay, the majority of what she showcased was lotions and creams—definitely not what I was hoping for. There was a whip, so at least that added some excitement. She encouraged us to keep our glasses filled, and then it was time for her to dive into the presentation.
She instructed us to open the catalogs she handed out. I flipped to the first page—more lotions. The next page was the same. My interest waned as I flipped through page after page filled with body sprays and other items that did not quite match the evening’s theme. Yes, I understand the strategy behind selling add-ons, but please, don’t waste my good time on products that I didn’t come to buy. I showed up to enjoy a little fun and perhaps see how far I could go in a light-hearted, adult-themed setting with my fellow moms.
As the presentation dragged on, I found myself a bit intoxicated from the scents alone. Finally, we reached the novelty section, which was a welcome change, albeit still not what we had come for. The sales rep dramatically tossed a book titled “50 Creative Ways to Please Your Partner” at one of our more reserved friends, who promptly batted it away in horror. Just a side note: that book could easily be retitled “49 Ways to Overthink It.”
Now, I would say these gatherings aren’t for the shy or bashful, but honestly, those are the most entertaining people to sit next to. They squirm at even the slightest hint of innuendo. One product I actually purchased years ago at one of these events was a small, gel heating pad for muscle relief. I shared with the group that I use it for menstrual cramps, and one friend gasped, “In your… what?” I laughed and assured her that yes, it was practical and effective.
Next came the games. The sales rep asked us to jot down a celebrity name and a body part. With RuPaul’s Drag Race fresh in my mind, I chose RuPaul and then added “frenulum” because a friend had recently gotten theirs pierced, and it made me a bit queasy. This turned into a comical Mad Libs scenario involving RuPaul and my frenulum—definitely a conversation starter!
Afterward, we were divided into teams and given various light bondage items, including a paddle and a whip. The objective was to get the gear on and spank one another as quickly as possible. Some of the moms were surprisingly skilled, and let’s just say I won’t be hanging out with them again anytime soon!
By the time we finally got to the actual adult toys, I was sober and regretting all the cookie consumption. As we inspected the toys, we discovered some impressively high-tech gadgets, including a vibrator that flashed lights synced to its vibration patterns. I mean, do we really need a light show down there?
While some of the items were well-made, others left much to be desired. I support being budget-conscious, but this isn’t the area where you want to skimp. One cock ring I saw looked like it could cause a serious accident if not used correctly. But hey, to each their own!
I can’t stress how sober I was by the end of this gathering, which likely hurt the sales. I had come in ready to make some purchases, but instead, I found myself snacking on cookies and accidentally spraying a not-so-favorite friend with some body mist.
If you’re looking to sell adult toys—or even Tupperware—at a gathering, I have one piece of advice: hand everyone a glass of bubbly upon arrival and skip the boring stuff. You’ll have everyone ready to buy in no time.
So, I encourage you to say “yes” to your friend’s adult toy party. Just be prepared for a night filled with laughter, awkward moments, and perhaps a little embarrassment when you see the other moms at school the next week. And for the love of all things fun, make sure your sales rep knows that if it’s something they could find at Bath & Body Works, it’s probably not what you’re after.
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Summary
Attending an adult toy party can be a fun and light-hearted experience filled with laughter, snacks, and awkward moments among friends. It’s a chance to explore new products while enjoying good company. Just remember to keep the drinks flowing and skip the boring parts to ensure everyone is engaged and ready to shop!