Last week, I had one of those days. You know the type—the ones where everything feels like an uphill battle, and it seems like the universe is conspiring against you. I was drowning in a mountain of laundry, my house looked like a tornado hit it, and I found myself snapping at my kids and being short with my partner. I woke up feeling drained and went to bed even more exhausted, all while harshly criticizing myself for my perceived failures in motherhood, relationships, and just about everything else.
Honestly, it wasn’t just a bad day; it’s been a rough month. For weeks, I’ve been juggling a chaotic schedule filled with work commitments that kept me up late and volunteer events that pulled me away from my family. I can’t even recall the last time I went grocery shopping or prepared a proper meal. Rushed bedtimes became the norm, chores were often neglected, and I was perpetually late for everything. This whirlwind of chaos led to endless worrying about my parenting skills.
We’ve all been there, haven’t we? We all have our own challenges, and we understand the nagging feeling of inadequacy—whether at work, as a partner, or, most importantly, as a parent. Lately, I’ve been consumed by thoughts of whether I’m truly screwing this whole parenting thing up. I’ve felt guilt over time spent away from my kids and stressed about the tasks left undone. I’ve replayed every moment in my head—those times I responded with “just a minute” while trying to send a work email, the nights I missed bath time due to meetings, and the times I resorted to cereal for dinner or hit up the drive-thru.
At night, I’d lie awake, mentally tallying my failures under the heading of “Ways I Messed Up Today,” often falling asleep before I could finish the list. Isn’t that the parental default? We fixate on our shortcomings, stressing over what we didn’t accomplish, how we fell short, and all our perceived mistakes.
But what about the things we did right? The hugs we shared, the tears we wiped away, the snacks we prepared, and the homework we checked? What about the good moments? Just last week, after a long day filled with my self-doubt and frustration, my younger son, Oliver, handed me a note. It simply read, “I love you, Mom. You are the best. Thank you for being nice.”
That little note turned my day around. It made me realize that maybe I’ve been too hard on myself. Perhaps it’s okay for our kids to see us working hard at things outside of parenting, to understand that we have our own lives, obligations, and needs. They don’t need to think that our lives revolve around them every minute of the day to feel loved and valued. Maybe they notice the effort we put in rather than the things we don’t get done.
Despite my imperfections and distractions, my son—who means the world to me—believes I’m doing just fine. In fact, he thinks I’m the best, and if our children, the ones we cherish above all, see value in our efforts, then perhaps we’re doing something right after all.
I may not be a flawless mom. (Who really is?) But to my kids, I might just be their best. And you know what? That’s enough for me.
For more thoughts on parenting and the journey of motherhood, check out this insightful post on Cervical Insemination. If you’re considering home insemination, Make a Mom offers excellent kits for at-home use. Additionally, for more information on the process, Cleveland Clinic provides a great resource on intrauterine insemination.
In summary, being a mom is tough, and we all have our ups and downs. The key is to recognize the love and effort we put in, even when it feels like we’re falling short. Embrace the moments of joy and remember that our children value us more than we think.