The Real Deal: Unfiltered Mom Selfies

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Let’s be real. You’ve managed to put on some makeup, showered, and squeezed into those Spanx-like undergarments. (Quick question: Who can actually use the convenient pee hole in those bodysuits? That’s some serious talent!) In short, you’re bringing your mom A-game today.

Whether you’re dressing up for a wedding or heading out for a date night, it’s time for a fun evening! So, naturally, it’s selfie time.

Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t the same as the carefree 25-year-old Jamie snapping photos of her new ring, her adorable pup, or her latest swimsuit.

Ugh, look at her. She probably slept 11 hours just because she could. Seriously, who does that?

But you did manage to shower and score a babysitter, so why not share a little glimpse of this moment? Celebrate for once not resembling a bridge troll (ah, the wonders of motherhood).

This got me thinking about how social media might look if moms shared the real, unfiltered moments of their daily lives. So, for a bit of fun, let’s dive into what motherhood would look like in honest selfies.

Good morning, 5 a.m.

#messyhair #cozygown
“Time to feed the little monsters!” Oh wait, they’d rather feed you instead. (If you’re judging me for calling my kids monsters, come over and watch them eat—trust me, “monsters” fits.)
#aintnobodygottimeforthat

Forget hashtags like #nofilter and #nomakeup. Everyone will know the truth anyway.
#oldmanbaby

And if you’ve got to work?
#whateverworks

Or maybe you have an errand to run?
#wallofHOTTIES

Who knows what the day holds! Just remember to pull those control tops up and brace yourself.
#ohmylanta

Personal space? Forget it. Once you embrace the chaos, it gets a little easier.
#helpme

Chances are, everyone will be sleeping except you.
#tomorrowwillsuck

Victory selfies will happen—like the nap battles you conquer!
#napbattle

And don’t forget those pediatrician selfies; you’ll be in the waiting room forever.
#waitingforever

You’ll find yourself wearing a coat indoors because it’s better than waking the little teething tornado.
#DONTmove

Food will be thrown at you, and laughter will ensue.
#delicious

When it’s finally time to dress up for a girls’ night out post-baby, you’ll send your sisters a photo asking, “Do I look like a grown-up?”
#WhoaMama

Occasionally, you’ll be caught in mismatched attire.
#colorblindgymteacher

Tears will be shed, but not shared.
#thisisfridaynight

Fun times at the farm, where cows say “moo!”
#cowsaysMOOP

Panic sets in when you realize you have five minutes to leave and your hair looks like a disaster.
#prayer

I can transform my messy hair into something presentable in 10 minutes flat—basically magic.
#sorcery

Or, even better, you might find yourself blissfully sipping coffee in the airport cell phone lot, enjoying a rare moment of peace.
#preciousalonetime

For all the moms out there sporting snot on their jackets, remember, you’re not alone. Behind every filtered photo is a mom who’s definitely faced her share of messiness.
#somebodysmother


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