I have two children, but I don’t see myself solely as a mom.
Don’t misunderstand, I adore them; it’s that deep, “I could cuddle and smell their heads forever” kind of love. Yet, I’m more than a mother.
I work diligently to nurture my kids, helping them grow into kind-hearted individuals. Still, I don’t define myself by motherhood.
Let me elaborate. I’m a person who loves writing, has a fulfilling career, chose to become a parent, cherishes her family immensely, has an unusual fondness for bleu cheese, and is a huge fan of ’90s R&B. I make mistakes, just like anyone else.
I have my own aspirations and dreams that extend beyond my children. While they are a significant part of my life, they do not encompass my entire existence. Acknowledging that our kids aren’t the center of everything is challenging in today’s society, especially for women. Men don’t face the same expectations as fathers.
Society often pressures mothers to be “Mom” all the time, expecting us to sacrifice our own comforts for our children. We feel compelled to whip up perfect treats for school events and throw extravagant birthday parties complete with Pinterest-worthy decorations. Juggling a job? No problem! Just stay up late to finish those cupcakes. If you find joy in being supermom and identify strongly with that role, I respect your choice. But not everyone wants to be labeled as “Mom.”
Let’s face it: the only Facebook updates deemed acceptable for mothers seem to be professional-quality snapshots of their kids and posts overflowing with gratitude and #blessed tags. And of course, every child in those photos must be dressed in meticulously coordinated outfits that look like they were handmade.
Our social media feeds are dominated by pictures of children; try sharing anything else and watch it fade into obscurity. Society rewards motherhood while punishing us for wanting to explore other facets of ourselves once we have kids.
Parenting magazines aimed at women are filled with time-consuming craft ideas and impractical advice. Who has the time to read those, let alone implement their suggestions? Although a stack of parenting magazines does make for a decent drink holder on a nightstand.
In contrast, men—regardless of fatherhood—are encouraged to pursue their own interests, hobbies, and ambitions. They can take weekend trips with friends or engage in community activities, and it’s a bonus if they happen to be great dads too.
I believe that not making my life solely about my children will ultimately benefit them. They will have a well-rounded mother to look up to—not just because I’m a good mom, but because I’m a multifaceted individual. In turn, they’ll grow up understanding that they don’t have to confine themselves to narrow definitions.
We encourage our daughters to be ambitious and articulate, teaching them they can achieve anything. Yet, we often deny ourselves that same freedom. Our parents raised us to be incredible, varied individuals, and we owe it to them to embrace that complexity. We are women who happen to be moms—and so much more.
If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out this blog post. For more resources, CDC provides excellent guidance on pregnancy and home insemination. Additionally, if you’re looking for quality products, Make a Mom is an authority in this area.
In summary, I choose to embrace my identity as a person beyond motherhood. I strive to be a well-rounded individual for the sake of my children, proving that we can be so much more than just “Mom.”