Coming to Terms with My Inability to Shield My Son from Every Minor and Major Mishap

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As I watched my son cry, I felt the weight of frustration and guilt. Our household is not typically filled with raised voices, and in that moment, I felt like a villain. After the tears were wiped away and he was settled, I attempted to clarify my intentions: “I just want to keep you safe, sweetheart.” He sniffed and took a bite of his waffle.

I understand that I cannot shield my son from every potential hazard in life, such as wobbling chairs—even though I wish I could protect him from every scrape. The challenge lies in the fact that children often do not heed warnings. They may not listen today or even when they reach their teenage years. Injuries will occur, whether they involve broken bones or emotional pain. How can I guide him to make wise choices in crucial moments? How can I ensure he knows to hold my hand while navigating the cement stairs? Or that he should avoid speeding on icy roads right after obtaining his driver’s license?

As I helped him put on his coat for preschool, I advised, “Keep your hands back, dear,” while zipping it up. Unfortunately, he didn’t listen, and I accidentally caught a finger in the zipper. This resulted in more tears and a surge of maternal guilt. I kissed his cheeks and the tip of his finger, trying to comfort him.

“We’re having a tough morning, Mommy,” he said, snuggling on my lap.

“It’s just a scratch,” I reassured him, genuinely wishing for a life filled with only minor injuries.

There’s a poignant quote by Elizabeth Stone that reflects the experience of parenthood: “To have children is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” It captures the essence of what it means to be a parent. Our hearts are exposed, traversing the unpredictable landscape of life without a controller. All we can offer them is our guidance and example. “Please listen to me,” we plead, but sometimes those words fall on deaf ears.

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In summary, as parents, we face the difficult reality that we cannot protect our children from every harm. Our role is to guide them, instilling the wisdom to make safe choices while understanding that some scrapes are an inevitable part of growing up.

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