So, you just got some unexpected news. You were probably enjoying the early weeks of your pregnancy glow when suddenly, you hear the words: spina bifida. Spina what? It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed right now. Just when you thought the idea of becoming a parent was daunting enough, you’re confronted with a whole new set of challenges: doctor visits, screenings, uncertainties, and fear.
But take a deep breath, Mama. Your world may seem turned upside down at the moment, but it will improve. It really will. Here are four important things to keep in mind:
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It’s Not Your Fault
I remember lying on the ultrasound table, and when I first heard “spina bifida,” my mind went blank. I immediately started thinking about all the things I might have done wrong. Was it the morning sickness? Did I eat poorly? Did I skip a vitamin? Let me assure you, Mama, spina bifida is not your fault. No amount of orange juice or bananas could have changed this outcome. According to the Spina Bifida Association, there is no single cause for this condition. You didn’t cause this and should not blame yourself. You may have been dealt a difficult hand, but you and your partner are capable of handling it.
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Savor Your Pregnancy
I wish I had reminded myself of this during my own pregnancy. For 16 wonderful weeks, I enjoyed knowing I was carrying twins. I felt invincible. Then, at week 16, I learned one of them had spina bifida. Suddenly, I was a bundle of nerves, worrying about every little thing. I let the diagnosis steal my joy. Looking back, I wish I could tell myself to cherish that time, to embrace the miracle of life growing inside me. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Celebrate this unique moment in your life. Wear those maternity outfits proudly, caress your baby bump with excitement, and most importantly, relax. Don’t let two little words overshadow this beautiful experience.
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Don’t Try to Understand Everything at Once
You just received your diagnosis, and it’s easy to find yourself frantically searching for answers online. You might start thinking about wheelchair ramps and elevators, wondering how to pronounce words like hydrocephalus and myelomeningocele. Stop! You don’t need to master spina bifida overnight. You don’t even know what questions to ask yet. Take your time to learn and prepare for the incredible journey of motherhood ahead. Remember to breathe.
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You’re Not Alone
Give yourself a moment to process what you’ve learned. It’s okay to feel emotional. Just know that you’re stepping into a supportive community. You might not have met anyone with spina bifida or the parents of children with special needs, but you will. You’re about to connect with amazing individuals—kids who will light up your life and parents who want nothing but to assist you along the way. You’re not on this journey alone. The people you will meet—other parents, therapists, doctors, and online community members—will inspire you and give you strength.
I understand how you feel. It’s normal to be scared and unsure about the path ahead. But remember, every adult and child living with spina bifida once had a parent standing where you are right now. In the future, you’ll look back at this time and realize that you were stronger than you thought. You’ll even reflect on those sleepless nights with a bit of laughter. You may not believe it now, but you will. Someday, you might share your story with another mom who looks just as nervous as you do.
Hang in there, Mama. You’re going to be okay. We’re here for you. Welcome to the club!
If you’re interested in exploring more about family building, check out this helpful resource on home insemination.
Summary
Receiving a spina bifida diagnosis can be overwhelming for new parents. It’s essential to remember that it’s not your fault, to enjoy your pregnancy, and to take your time learning about the condition. You are not alone in this journey; there is a supportive community waiting to help you. Embrace this unique chapter in your life with love and resilience.