I know, I know—I can practically feel the eye rolls from the passionate advocates out there (and yes, I count myself among them). I hear the frustrated groans and whispers about being conditioned by a problematic culture. I’m not arguing that it’s acceptable or even rational; I’m just sharing that I miss it.
When you’re younger, compliments come at you from all directions, often overwhelming and sometimes annoying. I often felt exposed and vulnerable, and there were times I just wanted to blend into the background. All that attention can be exhausting, especially after years of experiencing it. So, I totally understand where you’re coming from.
But then, over time, those compliments shift from a constant barrage to a mere trickle. Gradually, so subtly that it’s hard to notice. You convince yourself that you’ve grown beyond them and maybe even take pride in it. But here’s the blunt truth: it’s not that you’re not hearing them; they’ve just stopped coming. And wow, that realization can sting.
Don’t get me wrong. I still take care of myself and maintain my appearance. I steer clear of frumpy attire, so occasionally, someone will stop and tell me I look nice. Sure, it might be an elderly gentleman with trifocals rushing off to a doctor’s appointment, but it still feels good. Honestly, I get a little thrill from those compliments, and they can brighten my mood for days to come.
As we age, the decline in attention from the male crowd can mark a significant shift for us women. Some may choose paths that lean towards revealing outfits and attention-seeking behavior, which can be easy to mock when we’re younger.
The alternative path may be a little more subdued, but it certainly has its downsides. It’s the “I’m a wife/mom, and I have to act accordingly” route. You find yourself planning meet-ups at casual restaurants, trying to look stylish while juggling the responsibilities of home life. It feels mature and dignified but lacks the thrill of being noticed for your looks.
I must confess, those catcalls once validated me, confirming that I was attractive. Isn’t that what many of us are after? To feel desirable while seeking a partner and building a family? Now that I’ve settled into that happy life, you’d think I’d relish it more.
And I mostly do. I cherish my family and all the wonderful moments we share. While I’m happy to hand the torch to the younger generation, I admit, I sometimes miss the compliments.
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Summary:
The article reflects on the bittersweet transition from youthful attention and compliments to the quieter reality of adulthood. While the author appreciates the maturity that comes with being a wife and mother, they express nostalgia for the validation and excitement of being admired. It’s a relatable exploration of how societal perceptions of attractiveness change over time and the emotional impact of that shift.