My son clearly prefers my partner, Sarah, over me. Yep, he’s definitely a mama’s boy. I get it; it’s pretty typical for little ones to bond closely with their mothers. After spending nine months in the womb and then relying on her for nourishment for the first year, who wouldn’t develop that kind of attachment? Plus, he’s not even 2 yet, so I’m not overly worried about him growing up to be a creepy character like Norman Bates—at least not yet.
While I understand the reason behind his favoritism, it still stings sometimes. However, there are moments when it surprisingly works to my advantage.
Team Effort in Parenting
Parenting is undoubtedly a team effort. Having both parents involved is essential, especially with an energetic toddler who needs adult supervision for everything. My partner and I are fortunate to share the responsibilities of raising our son, and we make it a point to alternate daily tasks. One morning, I’ll be on duty, even if he’s crying for Mom (which happens every single day). The next, Sarah will step in, even if he throws me a lifeline with a weak “Daddy” cry. We take turns with diaper changes, baths, and bedtime routines—it’s a system that usually runs smoothly.
But as he grows and starts to express himself more, he sometimes insists that only one parent can help with certain tasks, like brushing his teeth. Almost every time, that lucky parent is Sarah. When I attempt to pick him up for bedtime and he recoils with a scream, it’s a tough blow to my ego. Ouch.
Finding the Silver Lining
Despite the sting to my pride, there’s a silver lining. You know what feels amazing? Cracking open a cold drink without a toddler in meltdown mode nearby.
So, when my son chooses Sarah for his bedtime routine, I’m perfectly fine with it. I can sit back and enjoy a game or dive into a good book while she reads him a story and tucks him in. Maybe I’ll even treat myself to a second drink to ease those bruised feelings. Sure, I love my son and know I’m a good dad who deserves some acknowledgment for my parenting efforts, but hey—who needs pride?
You might think that my partner would be annoyed with me for taking a break while she handles the tough stuff. And you’d be right. But we both understand this is just a phase. There will come a time when only I can soothe our son with a bedtime story or carry him to his room, and in those moments, Sarah will relish her own quiet time with a glass of wine, enjoying a rare moment of peace.
Embracing the Journey
For now, I brush off my hurt feelings and enjoy the few extra minutes of downtime, while Sarah embraces the extra cuddles, even if they sometimes lead to a little too much dependence. It’s all part of the parenthood journey, and as a two-person team, we navigate the highs and lows together—even if it means dealing with an ungrateful toddler who sometimes rejects his dad. At the end of the day, though, we know that this is just a temporary stage and that eventually, our son will learn to love us both equally.
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Summary
Parenting can sometimes lead to feelings of being the less favored parent, especially when young kids show a strong preference for one parent over the other. While it can be hurtful, it’s also an opportunity for some much-needed downtime. As parents, understanding that this phase will pass and sharing responsibilities can help navigate the ups and downs of family life.