Every now and then, I get this spontaneous urge to take my two boys, aged 3 and 8 months, out in the evening. It’s usually a recipe for chaos, especially since it’s that fussy hour. Just yesterday, we were driving home from the mall in the thick of rush hour. As soon as we got in the car, both boys erupted into tears. Their screams were so intense that it was almost comical. I found myself laughing, and in that moment, I realized I was embracing a new side of motherhood.
Something had changed within me. In the past, I would have panicked, saying things like, “We’ll be home soon!” while desperately trying to soothe my little one. I often resorted to singing loudly in hopes of easing the tension. However, this time, I opted for silence (with a chuckle) and felt a sense of calm wash over me. It made me wonder if I was transitioning from a new mom to a more seasoned one. The fact that I could contemplate this amidst the chaos felt like a sign of my growth.
Here are six ways my parenting approach has shifted since welcoming my second child:
- Reduced Panic in My Reactions: When my youngest wakes from a nap, I no longer rush in like I’m on a rescue mission. I take my time, finishing what I’m doing before checking on him.
- More Comfort with Crying: I’ve come to accept that crying is a normal part of childhood. I even allow my 8-month-old to cry for a while to help him settle down for sleep, something I would never have considered with my first child.
- Acceptance of Conflict: I used to struggle with setting boundaries for my firstborn, fearing I would stifle his curiosity. Now, I understand that boundaries are crucial for safety and everyone’s well-being, and occasional conflict indicates I’m doing my job right.
- Letting Go of Perfectionism: I once stressed over my child’s diet and whether I was breastfeeding perfectly. Now, I embrace a more relaxed approach, focusing on a balanced lifestyle without fixating on extremes. I also no longer freak out over sunblock or bug spray; I apply what’s necessary and move on.
- Giving My Children Space: I used to engage with my baby constantly, singing and narrating his every move. Now, I allow them to explore their own interests and play independently.
- Increased Trust and Acceptance of Help: With my first child, I was hesitant to let anyone hold him, worried about germs and proper support. Now, I gladly pass my baby to anyone willing to help, appreciating every moment I can take a breather. I even utilize child care at gyms without the anxiety I felt before.
I’ve learned to prioritize not just my children’s well-being but my own as well. My love for them is no longer measured by my worries.
As I approached my exit yesterday, still reflecting on how I’ve grown as a mom, we hit some heavy traffic. The boys were still screaming, and I felt my patience wavering. But then, I remembered: crackers in the center console! I wouldn’t keep snacks like that handy if I wasn’t a seasoned mom now. Tossing them to my baby restored my faith in my transformation. The crackers worked wonders, and we arrived home with minimal fuss. Instead of panicking amid the chaos, I was able to laugh and reassure myself that everything was going to be okay—even if it sounded like a horror movie in the backseat.
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In summary, my journey as a mom has taught me the importance of patience, acceptance, and self-care. Embracing the chaos while letting go of unrealistic expectations has made me a more confident and relaxed parent.