As my son approaches his third birthday next month, he still relies on his beloved pacifier, which he affectionately calls his “bink.” I’d like to say I’m unfazed by the opinions of others regarding his pacifier use at this age, but that wouldn’t be entirely accurate.
Deep down, I grapple with feelings of guilt and concern about what other parents might think when they hear him ask for his paci. This guilt, unfortunately, stems from societal expectations that don’t align with my own parenting philosophy.
Generally, I’m not one to stress over milestones like when kids start walking or how long they cling to a favorite blanket. I firmly believe that children develop at their own pace, and they will naturally reach those milestones when they’re ready. I try not to get caught up in worry about when my son will let go of his pacifier.
For my son, his pacifier is a significant source of comfort. He has had ongoing struggles with ear infections since infancy, and despite our best efforts and numerous visits to specialists, the problem persists. As any parent knows, watching your child in pain is heart-wrenching. When medications fail to alleviate his discomfort, he turns to his bink for solace. I would do anything to ease his suffering, and in his case, that’s his pacifier.
Unlike many children, he doesn’t have a special toy or blanket, making it feel unjust to take away something that provides him comfort before he’s ready. Sure, I could initiate the process of removing it and endure some tantrums, but is that really necessary? What’s the difference between me deciding to take it away now and him choosing to part with it when he feels prepared?
I like to think critically about such decisions. According to the American Dental Association, as long as a child stops using a pacifier by the age of four, it doesn’t pose dental risks. Emotionally, allowing my son to have his pacifier seems no more harmful than taking it away prematurely.
I can’t help but wonder if I’d even be concerned about this if his source of comfort was an old teddy bear. Probably not. My guilt arises from societal norms and perceptions of what’s considered “normal.” However, the reality is that while his pacifier use may not align with some standards, it’s not causing any harm. I’m not negatively impacting his development by allowing him this comfort.
There’s plenty of time for growth before he turns four, and I suspect he’ll naturally let go of his bink well before then. If not, we can address that when the time comes. I recognize that my viewpoint might be in the minority, and that’s perfectly fine. After all, it’s just a pacifier, not something far more concerning, so I believe I’m navigating this parenting journey just fine.
For those parents feeling guilty about similar issues, take a moment to ease your mind. If you find yourself worrying about trivial matters like a pacifier or a blanket, rest assured you’re doing a great job; it’s the parents who don’t care that should raise concern. In the grand scheme of parenting, these worries are minor. Focus on what truly matters for you and your children, regardless of what others may think.
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Summary
In conclusion, the journey of parenting comes with its own set of challenges and societal pressures. My son, nearing three, still uses a pacifier for comfort, and while I sometimes feel guilty about it, I recognize that it’s a normal part of his development. It’s essential to focus on what truly matters and to uphold our parenting choices, regardless of societal expectations.