Life is full of predictable moments. You can almost guarantee that if you wash your car, rain will soon follow, or that searching for any health-related symptom online will convince you you’re on the verge of a serious illness. And when someone posts about their wedding anniversary—whether it’s a heartfelt status or a cute meme—there’s a high chance you’ll see the term “best friend” thrown in. “I married my best friend.” “I’m so lucky to wake up next to my best friend every morning.” The hashtags just keep coming: #bestfriend #blessed.
But honestly, I hesitate to use that phrase. My partner is not my best friend.
To say he’s my best friend feels like downplaying our profound connection, like calling a hurricane a light breeze. There’s no simple phrase that can capture the depth of our bond, no clever saying that could truly reflect our relationship.
Before you roll your eyes or cringe, let me clarify: this isn’t about claiming we’re some extraordinary couple or that our love story is one for the ages. We’re just a typical couple who has been together for years. We have our share of arguments—over trivial matters and serious issues alike—because, let’s be honest, one of us can be a bit stubborn (not me, of course). We clash over big and small topics, and sometimes life gets so busy that it’s easy to forget to carve out time for each other. He knows how to get under my skin better than anyone, whether it’s by making a mess at the worst possible times or just giving me that look.
Yet, that’s where the beauty of our relationship lies, and why labeling him as my “best friend” feels inadequate. It’s not just that he knows how to annoy me; he understands me on a level that goes far beyond friendship. My best friend might know I have a fear of zombies, but my partner knows the story behind that fear: when I was just a kid, my siblings let me watch a horror movie that left a lasting impression (thanks for that, guys).
Sure, my best friend may know my dislike for fish or that tequila leads to some rough mornings, but my partner has access to the intimate details of my life. He knows my social security number, understands the medications that affect me, and is familiar with the history behind the worn stuffed bear that still sits on our bed. He can anticipate my reactions, knows what I cherish most, and recognizes the fears and traumas that shape my existence. He understands what I can’t express in words.
I cherish my best friends—they bring joy and laughter into my life. But when it comes to making major life decisions, I haven’t turned to them in the same way I do with my partner. They may offer great advice, but they aren’t as deeply invested in my life as he is. I don’t cry with them during tough times or fight to mend things when they fall apart. While I’m grateful for their presence, my heart doesn’t race in the same way when I think of them.
Friendships require effort, but they don’t compare to the commitment needed in a partnership. Friendships can be relatively straightforward, while marriages demand hard work, sacrifice, and perseverance. It’s about staying afloat during life’s storms and working together to right the ship when things go awry. This kind of bond deserves a label far more meaningful than “friend.” You can casually friend someone on social media, but that doesn’t even begin to touch the complexity of the love I share with my partner. Even the term “soulmates” doesn’t quite fit, as it implies an effortless connection, while our relationship has been built on determination and effort.
So until someone invents a term that better encapsulates our unique connection, I’ll stick to giving my partner a humorous anniversary card. His laughter will bring me joy, and we’ll share moments that define us: so much more than just friends.
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Summary
This article explores the complexity of marital relationships and emphasizes that the bond shared between partners goes beyond friendship. It highlights the deep understanding and emotional investment that characterize a partnership, showcasing the unique connection that exists.