My little boy has mastered the art of conversation, which is wonderful. The downside? He’s constantly chattering away. Seriously, he never seems to stop! But you know what? That’s perfectly fine. The issue isn’t so much the volume of his words or even the amusing things he says. He often spouts off phrases he doesn’t fully grasp, and honestly, it’s pretty funny to hear kids say the most random things. I won’t boast that my son says the most outrageous things—after all, that’s a title for someone else to claim. But let me assure you, he definitely has his moments.
The real challenge starts when we actually pay attention to his comments. My partner is a firm believer in seeking our son’s input. He’s only 3 years old, mind you.
Just yesterday, she was planning a trip to the transit museum where he could marvel at and discuss the bigger trains, which is a step up from the smaller ones he usually sees. Right before they were set to leave, she received a call from a school she was considering for our son’s future enrollment. Suddenly, she faced a tough choice: museum or school? So, she asked our son what he preferred.
Did I mention he’s just 3? Guess which option he picked.
My partner (and I, along with many parents today) is committed to encouraging our child’s independence, treating him with respect, and recognizing him as a person. However, at this age, he’s more of a small creature who can talk than an actual decision-maker. Would you ask your pet’s permission to go for a walk? Or wait for your cat to approve a cuddle? Of course not! You do what’s best for your pets, and if they protest, well, that’s just tough luck (especially for the cat—never mess with her).
My son is just 3! He’s not exactly equipped for rational thought. He doesn’t experience empathy, fear, or guilt, and his relentless chatter can be overwhelming. Engaging him in conversation can feel like a never-ending journey into a world of imagination. At one point, he called me “Sandwich Guy” for a couple of months before I figured out it was probably from a show he watched—talk about a head-scratcher!
I fully support allowing him to express himself, but let’s be real: he doesn’t know what’s best for him, nor does he have much knowledge about the world. While I appreciate the need to nurture his sense of self, not every word that comes out of his mouth carries weight. Just like any adult, some comments are more valuable than others, and a toddler’s thoughts can often be less than insightful.
That said, my son does have feelings—valid ones, even if they don’t always stem from logic. I’ve learned that dismissing irrational emotions is not a winning strategy in marriage or parenting. So, credit where it’s due: we make sure to acknowledge his emotions (“I understand you’re upset…”), validate them (“…and it’s completely fine to feel that way…”), and then gently redirect him to reality (“…but it doesn’t change the fact that we’re going to be leaving soon, so please put your shoes on!”).
It’s essential to let your kid have his opinions. My son has plenty, mostly revolving around fire trucks, pretend games, and dishes he’s never tried but is convinced he won’t like. Even if he can’t always articulate his thoughts clearly—often, his responses are a jumbled mix of sounds—they still count as his opinions.
They may not really hold legitimacy, but as a parent, you have to treat them as if they do—up to a point. It’s crucial to see your children as the individuals they are becoming and to provide them with a sense of empowerment, even if you ultimately have the final say.
There’s a significant distinction between giving your children a sense of agency and fostering entitlement. While everyone has opinions, kids who always get their way can quickly develop a sense of entitlement.
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Summary:
This article discusses the challenges and humor in valuing a toddler’s opinions while recognizing their limitations. It emphasizes the importance of nurturing a child’s individuality and emotional expression while maintaining parental authority. Ultimately, fostering a sense of empowerment in children is vital, but it’s crucial to avoid creating a sense of entitlement.