By: Sarah Lane | Feb. 18, 2016
It’s only been a couple of months, but I’m already well-acquainted with this routine: rocking an overstuffed glider a bit too swiftly, holding a fussy baby, and riding yet another wave of anxiety.
Entering motherhood feels like a thrilling ride on a track filled with fluctuating hormones, unexpected fears, and overwhelming self-doubt. I constantly misplace my keys, weighed down by my new responsibilities: baby, diaper bag, wipes, pacifier, and postpartum worries.
I pull out my new phone to send a familiar message to my partner, who’s outside grilling with some friends. “She won’t sleep,” I type with one thumb. “I’m at my wits’ end. She’s too cranky to stay awake, but she won’t eat. I’m exhausted and don’t know how to handle her crying in social situations.”
The response I get: “Who is this?”
In the chaos of new parenthood, I’ve neglected to update my contacts, which means I’ve just messaged a stranger. I can’t even remember my partner’s phone number!
“Oops, that was meant for my partner! Sorry!” I quickly type a message to the right person, but my phone dings again.
“Wow, you must be really tired. New baby?”
“Yeah, she turns 8 weeks old tomorrow!” I respond.
Three little dots appear, indicating a longer reply. “Just so you know, it gets easier. I have three kids, and right now, I’m on the porch while they read and chat, sipping some wine and watching the sunset. It gets so much better. Hang in there.”
Tears of gratitude fill my eyes.
Reflecting on Kindness
Thinking about that unexpected message still brings a lump to my throat. She didn’t need to reply, but her words were exactly what my anxious heart needed.
When you’re a new parent, exhaustion becomes your constant companion (I’m sure you’re well aware of that). It’s hard to find your footing; fatigue can leave you feeling like a shell of yourself. I once tossed a bottle of freshly pumped milk down the drain in a daze. I recall the bone-deep tiredness that made me mistakenly grasp at bedsheets instead of lifting my baby from her bassinet.
That level of fatigue made the prospect of being alone at night while my partner traveled terrifying. With crippling postpartum anxiety, I doubted my ability to care for my baby solo.
This kind of exhaustion makes it nearly impossible to brush off comments and advice. Today, if someone offers unsolicited parenting tips, I can smile and respond confidently—even politely if they’re lucky. But as a new parent, that confidence is elusive; my brain felt like mush. I couldn’t shake off remarks like, “If you’re calm, your baby will be calm,” or “Just wait until she starts moving!”
It’s no wonder I remember the kind stranger who texted me. Instead of offering the typical clichés like “sleep when the baby sleeps” or “don’t blink, it passes so fast,” she offered a lifeline and a clear message: It gets easier.
A Message to New Parents
So to all new moms, tired parents, and those feeling overwhelmed: feel free to reach out to me anytime. I know—he won’t sleep, she hates the car seat, and raising infants can be incredibly challenging. You might feel lost and wish for just a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.
If you drop me a line, here’s what I’ll remind you: It gets easier. With time, you’ll experience the first smile, the first laugh, the first words, and those first steps. Each moment, each month brings a little more stability and confidence for both you and your baby. You will navigate this journey together.
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Summary
In summary, new motherhood can be overwhelming and exhausting, filled with uncertainties and self-doubt. Yet, it’s crucial to remember that with time, things do become easier. A heartfelt connection, even from a stranger, can offer comfort and reassurance. So, lean on your community, seek help, and know that brighter days are ahead.