As a dedicated sports mom, I find myself dividing my time between sleep, contemplating dinner options, and enthusiastically supporting my children at various youth sporting events—whether it’s soccer, basketball, lacrosse, or football. This commitment to the sidelines offers ample opportunity for reflection, and maybe even a bit of soul-searching. Oh, and it’s also a perfect excuse to indulge in a pack of Sour Patch Kids, because let’s face it, when else can adults enjoy candy without raising eyebrows?
While I genuinely love watching my kids compete—or even just sit on the bench—let’s be real. After attending over a thousand games in a year, maintaining full focus can be challenging. This often leads my thoughts down a meandering path that sounds something like this:
Why must we always trek to the most distant field from the parking area?
Did I really forget to bring a blanket again? Oh wait, it’s in the car, but the dog had an accident on it. Should I retrieve it? Gross, no. Only if it gets really cold.
This chair is exceptionally uncomfortable.
Why do I always choose the broken one? I’m not getting out of this chair until everyone else leaves. I might as well accept that I’m becoming one with the ground. My knees are practically touching my chin. Just smile; no one will notice.
How old are those kids on the other team?
They look enormous. That one can’t possibly be ten; does he have a mustache? He seems old enough to drive and buy beer. Ha, I crack myself up. I could really go for a beer right now, and I don’t even drink beer.
I love this sport…
Do I have cankles?
Am I the only one still wearing capris? I really need to go shopping; they’re not flattering. Actually, that mom looks good in them. She probably does Pilates or barre.
Is there a bar nearby?
How much time has my son played? Three minutes? I really should get an app to track that. But wait, I never use apps. Mmm…appetizers sound good, like buffalo chicken dip. No, scratch that, not edamame. Trendy lima beans are not for me.
Was that a raindrop?
Please, let that be rain.
Wow, that guy is loud.
What a jerk—oh wait, that’s my husband. He’s not a jerk; I must be exhausted.
Is that a bee? I can’t escape this chair!
It’s too cold for spring.
I really wish I had that blanket. I need to wash it, along with the laundry piled up. I must also clean out the closets and tackle that mountain of paperwork on the kitchen table. Speaking of kitchens, we need a new one. Maybe we should just move?
Is that my son out there?
What’s his number again? Why is that other kid always playing? Oh, right, he’s the coach’s son. He’s not great, but he just scored. Classic ball hog.
Wow, I definitely missed a spot shaving—like my entire left leg.
Uh-oh, here comes a fellow mom to chat.
What’s her name again? Look straight ahead, don’t panic.
I like her hair.
I hate my hair.
I’m sure I felt rain again.
What’s for dinner?
I despise making dinner. Do we even need dinner?
I need to use the restroom.
It’s a long walk to the restroom, and those facilities are always disgusting—no toilet paper, no towels, and why are there always spiders? I can hold it. I’m stuck in this chair anyway; I can’t feel my legs.
I can’t believe I forgot my fleece again.
Go blue!
Am I yelling too loudly? That felt kind of loud. I probably sounded like a comedian.
Is there a bar near here?
What’s my son’s number again?
Do I really have to cook dinner?
How many times have we had pizza this week? We could do pizza again. It’s not that unhealthy compared to some options… like fried chicken or donuts.
Did my child just score?
Curses, I missed it. I’ll just tell him I saw it. Great job, buddy! Oops, don’t say “buddy.”
What inning are we in?
What quarter is it? What day is it? That didn’t look like a foul. Is that rain? I really hope that’s rain.
Did we drive two hours for this game?
I’m not sure I like this sport anymore.
That guy’s pretzel looks tempting. Oops, is he looking at me? Did I say that out loud? Maybe he’s just noticing my cankles.
What’s the score?
I like her sunglasses; they make her look like a celebrity. They’d probably make me look like a cartoon character.
Is that rain?
That was definitely out of bounds. What’s the score again?
She seems nice.
Never mind; she’s a screamer.
Is this game almost over?
Where did I park? Where is my other child? Where are you when I need you? Now I have that song stuck in my head.
I could really go for shrimp and linguine.
Wow, that’s a random craving. With a glass of wine… Now that sounds delightful. Speaking of which, wasn’t there a movie called “Look Who’s Talking”? Who was in that again? Bruce Willis. Where are you now, Bruce?
Did I even bring my other child?
Where are you, where are you… get out of my head, Justin.
Do I hear thunder?
I should take some photos.
Oh no, memory full. Delete, delete, delete… oh, how cute! Delete, delete. What’s the score?
Overtime? Oh no, please no.
I really need to pee. Was that rain?
Please let that be rain.
In summary, being a sports mom comes with a unique set of challenges and thoughts that can easily drift into humorous, random, and sometimes serious reflections. Balancing the demands of parenting, personal thoughts, and the social aspects of youth sports can lead to profound insights and a healthy dose of self-awareness. If you’re navigating similar experiences, consider checking out resources on pregnancy and home insemination, such as this. Additionally, for more tips on making the home insemination process easier, visit this website. For a comprehensive guide on home insemination kits, this link will provide valuable information.