It’s been nearly 12 years since I tied the knot, and the question of my last name continues to perplex those around me. Despite my name remaining unchanged, friends, family, and colleagues often hesitate when addressing me. Should they use my husband’s surname? A hyphenated blend of both our names? The confusion persists, even in today’s society, where a married woman keeping her original name is still considered unconventional. People often inquire about my reasoning, and I have even encountered women who worry about my husband’s feelings regarding my choice.
Here’s why I decided to stick with my last name:
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Marriage Doesn’t Mean Identity Loss
While I married my husband, it wasn’t to lose my individual identity. I adore him for who he is, and we create a balanced partnership by embracing our unique qualities. Changing my name would mean sacrificing an important part of myself, something I am not willing to do. -
My Name Represents My Legacy
My name is not just a label; it embodies my history and the hard work I’ve put into building my reputation. Why should I be expected to abandon it because of marriage? I am not a damsel in distress; I am a person with my own narrative, equal in value to my husband’s. -
Tradition Isn’t Always Justifiable
Many argue I should change my name to honor tradition. However, just because something is customary doesn’t mean it’s logical or necessary. After all, some traditions, like presidential turkey pardons, are fun but not essential. -
Different Last Names Don’t Impair Family Unity
We view our family as a collective of individuals rather than merely a shared surname. My husband’s name, my name, and our children’s hyphenated names all reflect our identities. It’s clear to them why their names are different, and it enriches their understanding of who they are. -
Equity in Name Choices
I do not expect my husband to adopt my surname or hyphenate his name with mine. Name changes should be a mutual decision, not a societal obligation. If neither partner feels compelled to change their name, then why should they? -
My Husband Was Supportive of My Decision
One of the qualities I cherish about my husband, James, is his laid-back attitude. He never pressured me to change my name, and he even dismissed jokes from friends about “allowing” me to keep my surname. His support reinforces our bond and mutual respect. -
The Hassle of Name Change
The logistics of changing my name seemed overwhelming. From updating legal documents to social media profiles, I preferred to avoid the unnecessary complications. My identity remains consistent, which simplifies both my personal and professional life. -
Preserving My Family Name
My family name is significant to me. Due to the lineage of my grandparents, if I conformed to tradition, my surname would potentially become extinct. I value my heritage and want to contribute to its continuation. -
Challenging Norms
There’s a sense of empowerment in defying convention, especially when no valid justification exists for doing otherwise. This decision is mine alone, and I feel no obligation to conform to societal expectations.
Ultimately, I did not transform into someone else upon marrying; my identity remains intact. My choice to retain my surname reflects my values and asserts that I am whole as I am. For those who might still be puzzled, my choice is straightforward: I am still the same person I was before marriage.
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In summary, my decision to retain my surname is rooted in personal identity, respect for tradition, and a desire for authenticity within my family structure. I believe it exemplifies the individuality and partnership that define a modern marriage.