Parenting
I Embrace My Role as a Helicopter Mom
by Lisa Thompson
Updated: March 18, 2023
Originally Published: March 18, 2023
Photo by Sasha Dinic / iStock
The term “helicopter parent” often carries a stigma. It conjures images of overly involved mothers swooping in to oversee every detail of their children’s lives, often annoying teachers and free-range parents. However, in today’s world, helicopter parents are quite common, and I proudly identify as one. I embrace this title, as it’s simply how I choose to parent.
I suspect my journey into helicopter parenting began as my children transitioned into school. When my eldest entered kindergarten last year, the realization hit me hard. I found myself constantly seeking reasons to communicate with his teacher, desperate for any connection to his lengthy eight-hour school day. This sudden separation left me feeling disoriented, revealing how much control I had relinquished during the week. It was then that I fully acknowledged my identity as a helicopter mom.
In retrospect, I’ve likely been a part of this parenting style since my first child was born. Those who know me don’t see me as relaxed or easygoing. From the very first bath to his first-grade adventures, I have been present—attending to every scraped knee, interpreting every tear, and monitoring every meal. My caretaking extends to my younger children as well, as I maintain the same level of diligence.
I am deeply involved in their lives. My first grader keeps a journal, and you can bet I read every entry. I tidy their rooms and inspect their belongings. There are no secrets from me. If there’s a conflict with a peer at school, I’m already aware and ready to address it. I know their friends, their friends’ parents, their teachers, and the principal. I contribute to the PTA, volunteer as room mom, and attend every practice, game, and performance.
So far, I’ve been able to keep track of everything happening in their lives. I recognize that my role as a helicopter mom will become more complex as they grow older, and I will need to be even more involved. Nonetheless, I am committed to staying informed about my children’s experiences.
Do I believe in letting them make their own decisions? Absolutely. However, what defines my helicopter mom status is my awareness of those decisions. Even when I step back to let them navigate challenges, I remain close by, ready to support them if they stumble or hesitate.
I understand that helicopter moms can sometimes be perceived as overbearing, potentially hindering their children’s growth by stepping in to solve issues. We often struggle with respecting our kids’ privacy. If you wish to criticize me for reading my child’s journal, go ahead—I will continue to do so. At seven, my son writes about games like Minecraft and Pokémon, and his entries present no surprises since he shares much of it with me anyway.
As they approach their teenage years, will I change? Will I suddenly respect their privacy? Probably not. I recall my own adolescence, a time when I cried out for help through my writing, but few noticed until it was almost too late. Thankfully, someone eventually intervened, allowing me to seek the support I needed.
I believe it is my responsibility to hear their unspoken cries for help and to be vigilant about their needs. I do not foresee a reduction in my helicopter mom duties; instead, I anticipate they will intensify. My mission as a mother is to ensure their safety. If it means hovering overhead and keeping a close watch on their lives, then that is precisely what I will do.
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In summary, my role as a helicopter mom is one I embrace wholeheartedly. While some may criticize this approach, I see it as an essential part of my commitment to my children’s well-being. I will continue to be actively involved in their lives, ensuring they have the support they need as they grow.