Parenting
By Emily Harrison
Updated: March 14, 2023
Originally Published: March 14, 2023
Recently, my energetic preschooler decided to explore the depths of our potted plants, hunting for dinosaur fossils. He managed to flush a toy T-Rex down the toilet and even staged an impromptu nude pee break on the kitchen floor. As I dashed between rooms, juggling clean-up and a toddler on the loose, I found myself muttering a string of exclamations like, “Seriously? What are you doing?!”
My children drain my energy before the sun even rises, which is precisely why I rely on copious amounts of coffee just to keep pace. So, it was no surprise that after welcoming our second child, my partner and I waved the white flag—we thought we were done expanding our family.
But every so often, I encounter a newborn. Whether it’s at the park, during school drop-off, or even in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, these encounters can stir something deep within me. My hormones start to engage in a battle with my rational mind. It begins innocently enough with those hormones inquiring what my brain is up to. In response, my brain always insists, “I’m mentally scheduling a tubal ligation.” Yet, without fail, my hormones take offense, leading to a familiar back-and-forth:
Hormonal Debate
Hormones: Imagine how wonderful it would be to have another baby!
Brain: A nap sounds wonderful right now.
Hormones: No, think about it—big bellies, the joy of love, that delightful newborn scent!
Brain: Are you out of your mind?
Hormones: I’m just high on baby fever! I want to get pregnant again!
Brain: Fantastic! You could look forward to sleepless nights, financial strain, and all those unsolicited tips from your mother-in-law! Count me in!
Hormones: You’re being ridiculous.
Brain: Just being real here…
Hormones: Remember how intimate those baby-making moments were?
Brain: You could also focus on your fitness and shed those ten pounds you keep complaining about.
At this point in the debate, I genuinely start to wonder if my partner and I were too hasty in our decision to stop having kids. Could it be that my hormones might triumph over my logical reasoning? As they volley their arguments back and forth, the discussion quickly simplifies into basic concepts.
Simple Arguments
Hormones: Babies!
Brain: Money!
Hormones: Great bonding experiences!
Brain: Sleep deprivation!
Hormones: Cuddling and snuggling!
Brain: What about your other children?
Hormones: No more monthly cycles!
Brain: The labor pains!
Hormones: The miracle of life!
Brain: The miracle of peace and quiet!
Hormones: Baby-wearing!
Brain: You didn’t like that last time!
Hormones: I did too!
Brain: No, you didn’t!
Hormones: Rude!
In this round of mental sparring, logic seems to rule the day, allowing me to push aside that longing for another child. But then…
Hormones: You know, we can still enjoy babies without going through pregnancy again.
Brain: Go on…
Hormones: Did you notice how excited our friend Lisa was about Karen’s baby announcement?
Brain: Oh, I see where you’re headed! We could encourage our friends to have babies!
Hormones: Now you’re getting it!
Brain: (fist bump)
My clever brain and hormones concocted a plan that allows me to enjoy the idea of babies without the responsibilities that come with pregnancy, all while I chase after my little ones armed with juice boxes. Plus, I can happily embrace the role of the enthusiastic friend at baby showers, relishing that unique scent of a newborn.
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In summary, the desire for another child often presents an internal struggle between hormonal impulses and practical considerations. While the allure of a newborn can be intoxicating, it’s essential to weigh the realities of parenting. Finding joy in others’ babies can be a fulfilling compromise.