As I prepared to head out with my six-year-old, I remarked, “I’m actually looking forward to our time in the car.”
“Me too!” she responded, as we gathered our things.
This newfound appreciation for car rides has become a regular occurrence in our home. After months of scrambling for activities during my eldest’s gymnastics classes, we’ve discovered that simply sitting in the car can be quite relaxing. Gone are the days of unnecessary trips to the store for items we don’t need, and the stressful rush to navigate traffic in order to pick her up on time. Now, we embrace the act of waiting in the car—something I once thought would be the least enjoyable option.
I often bring my laptop along to catch up on emails, while the kids have their books and snacks. Sure, there’s the occasional bout of sibling squabbling, but it’s mild and manageable—not the kind that sends my blood pressure soaring. We enjoy the radio, engage in conversation, and at times, they curiously peek at the internet over my shoulder. Crumbs inevitably end up on my shoulder from their snacks, but it’s a far cry from the frantic, pointless bread-buying trips we used to make. In fact, our weekly car journeys have been reduced from 45 to just 29, thanks to a mix of after-school activities and our newfound “car-time.”
If someone had told me six months ago that I would find joy in spending 40 minutes in a car with two squabbling children, I would have been concerned for my future self. I might have even considered intervening. Yet, this isn’t a novel trend—my standard for happiness has been gradually declining over the past eight years. Parenthood has limited my time, space, and finances, resulting in a shift toward smaller, simpler joys.
I cherish quiet evenings at home. While I still enjoy going out, it’s not the frequent affair it used to be. Many Saturday nights now involve cozying up on the sofa, watching a movie, sipping red wine, and indulging in cheese. I look forward to these moments just as much, if not more, than I once did the excitement of a night out.
I appreciate getting six hours of sleep—an improvement over the sporadic four hours I used to consider “sleeping through the night.” While it may not rival my pre-parenthood slumbers, I’ve come to realize that it’s sufficient.
I relish ten minutes to myself in a locked bathroom while my partner reads stories to the kids. I find satisfaction in working at my computer—not just because the work is fulfilling, but because it grants me a moment of stillness amid the chaos of parenting. The rest of my day is filled with running, chasing, driving, and mediating disputes, except during our car-time, of course.
I enjoy a few minutes with my coffee and social media once the school runs are complete. I love taking the train anywhere—it feels like a little slice of me-time. With a phone, book, or magazine in hand, I often find myself wishing the journey would take longer, simply to relish the moment.
A glass of red wine on Thursday evenings is a special treat. As the week winds down, it serves as a small reward for making it through, regardless of how productive or chaotic the week has been.
Even my morning coffee at home brings immense joy. While I once splurged on cappuccinos from a nearby café, I find that my homemade brew satisfies me just as much. This shift in perspective is likely a result of necessity, but the enjoyment remains strong.
As I wrap up this reflection, I realize our car-time is nearly at its end, and crumbs are dribbling down my shoulder from my little ones. Just four hours stand between me and that glass of wine. Pure bliss awaits.
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Summary:
This article explores how the author’s perspective on happiness has shifted since becoming a parent, finding joy in simpler, everyday experiences. From cozy nights at home to appreciating brief moments of solitude, the author reflects on how the demands of parenthood have redefined her sources of satisfaction.