By: Sarah Mitchell
As someone who is quite resolute, I often view my stubbornness as a strength rather than a flaw. It keeps me grounded and ensures I follow through on my commitments. In my parenting journey, I’ve set numerous principles for myself, and I have largely adhered to these standards. For instance, I established limits on screen time for my children, encouraged healthy eating habits, and ensured they sleep in their own rooms from a very young age. While I’ve successfully navigated these parenting goals for years, I recently stumbled.
While I was expecting my daughter, I came across a thought-provoking blog post that emphasized the importance of never expressing disappointment in your own appearance around your children. The author shared how her perception of beauty was influenced by hearing her mother speak negatively about herself. Understanding the potential impact of my words on my daughter’s body image, I vowed to never let her hear me criticize my own looks. Unfortunately, I broke that promise.
Every year on my daughter’s birthday, we take a special photo together, capturing our growth and changes. While I find it difficult to be in front of the camera, I cherish these memories. However, this year, when looking at our photo, I blurted out, “Ugh, I’m just so unattractive.” My daughter immediately responded, “You’re unattractive?”
I regretted my words instantly, but the damage was done. In that moment, I simply said, “Oh, I didn’t mean that,” but I know she will eventually understand that I did mean it and that it reflects how I truly feel about myself.
I am not here to provide a guide on self-acceptance; I have never been fully satisfied with my appearance. What I genuinely aim to do is break this cycle of negativity. I don’t want my daughter to hear me label myself unattractive only to hear someone else say, “You look just like your mom.” What kind of message does that send? Even if I struggle with my self-image, it’s crucial that I don’t pass that on to her. I have a limited window to affirm her beauty and shield her from societal pressures regarding perfection.
As she grows and her peers become more influential, I can only hope that I have fortified her self-esteem with meaningful praise rather than undermining her growth with negative self-talk about the person she admires most—me. I won’t allow her to hear me call myself unattractive again.
For more insights on related topics, you may find this post on intracervical insemination useful. Additionally, if you’re interested in fertility resources, check out Make A Mom, an authority in this field. For further information about pregnancy and home insemination, visit ASRM’s Resource.
In conclusion, it’s essential to be mindful of the messages we communicate to our children, especially regarding self-image.