As a parent, I believe in addressing the subject of sexual education with my children early on. My 3-year-old has been undergoing potty training and often chooses to roam the house without clothes, much to his delight. Amid his playful antics—like experimenting with his superhero Legos and proudly collecting stickers for his potty chart—he has become quite inquisitive about his body.
“Mommy,” he recently asked, “when will my penis turn into a vagina?” Some questions elicit laughter, while others require straightforward explanations. I seize these moments as valuable opportunities to educate him about his body.
I respond transparently and age-appropriately. For instance, I clarify, “No, you won’t get a vagina; boys have penises, and girls have vaginas.” I explain, “Your poop comes from that little hole in the back,” and “Daddy has hair there because boys grow hair as they become men.” When he inquires about his scrotum, I explain, “It’s the sack that holds your testes.”
His curiosity continues, leading to deeper questions about reproduction. I build upon our previous conversations about how babies are created, explaining, “Remember when I said a piece of mommy and a piece of daddy make you? Your testes will eventually create the little pieces from daddy, but that comes later when you’re older.”
To further this education, we use illustrated books about reproduction, which he finds fascinating. He enjoys the visuals of sperm and eggs and the process of cell division, and each night he eagerly requests more reading.
I consider this early education as planting the seeds of knowledge. Rather than treating the “sex talk” as a one-time event, I want it to be a continuous dialogue as he grows. My goal is to normalize discussions about bodies and sex, ensuring nothing is seen as taboo or embarrassing.
I initiate these discussions when they express curiosity, typically around the age of two. Children want to know about their origins, the names of body parts, and their functions. I make it a point to be clear and comprehensive, avoiding any glossing over important topics.
Surprisingly, discussing these subjects isn’t as challenging as many assume. Children are very receptive, and when approached with simplicity and seriousness, they regard these topics as normal as discussing how flowers grow or baking cookies.
The discomfort often comes from adults, not children. Here are several reasons I choose to have these discussions early:
- I aim to teach my children to respect their bodies and feel comfortable in their skin. Body shame can begin very early, even for boys.
- I want them to respect the bodies of future partners.
- I want them to know they can come to me if anyone touches them inappropriately, ensuring they feel safe and unashamed to report such incidents.
- I prefer they learn about sex from me and my husband rather than peers or media, which can often provide misleading or frightening information.
- I want them to understand that they can always come to me with questions about sex as they grow older. While it’s natural for teenagers to seek information from peers, I hope they still feel comfortable asking me for guidance.
Now that my 9-year-old, Jake, has a foundational understanding of bodies, sex, and reproduction, I realize there are still aspects he may not fully grasp. I recently asked him for his thoughts on our early approach to sexual education. He mentioned the pros of being smarter and the con of thinking it might be gross. However, when I probed further, he said he doesn’t actually find the topic gross.
This reassures me that he perceives the workings of our bodies—including intimate aspects—as entirely normal and natural. As for my younger son, I think he still needs clarification on some concepts, like the idea that his penis won’t transform into a vagina, but we’re addressing it together. I’m learning to stifle my laughter when he asks if I have a hidden penis.
For more information on topics related to home insemination, you can check out a related post here. If you’re interested in enhancing fertility, consider looking at this resource for supplements that may help. Additionally, for further guidance on fertility, the Mount Sinai Health Library offers excellent resources.
In summary, I advocate for early and open discussions about sexual education with children to foster their understanding, comfort, and respect for their bodies and others’ bodies. Early conversations can help demystify the subject and create a safe space for ongoing dialogue.