As we navigate through everyday spaces like grocery stores, libraries, or simply walking down the street, well-meaning individuals often gaze at us with a familiar warmth, inevitably sharing the same advice: “Enjoy this… it goes by so quickly.”
Here’s the truth: I do find joy in these moments. I cherish them deeply. I remember those late nights, cradling my newborn, consciously trying to imprint every detail: her tiny weight, the way her little fingers wrapped around mine, and the adorable stretch of her limbs. I am fully aware of how swiftly time passes, and I treasure this distinct phase of my family life.
Yet, I ponder the challenging moments. What happens during those times that aren’t filled with joy? For instance, this morning when my toddler had a meltdown that lasted two hours, and I found myself retreating to my room with chocolate, just to regain my composure. Or the chaotic scene at the store when my children bickered so loudly that they knocked over our shopping cart, leading to a chorus of shrieks. And let’s not forget those days when my first-trimester fatigue was overwhelming, and I desperately wished for a moment of peace.
What about those tough instances? Is it realistic to expect to enjoy every single one? There are moments when I feel like I’m failing as a mother—when my patience wears thin, my words become sharp, and I struggle to express the love I have for my children.
Moments have a peculiar way of passing; they can be fleeting or linger uncomfortably. Regardless of whether we want them to, they occur in our lives, some easier to savor than others. The advice from well-meaning individuals resonates with us because we recognize its truth: time is fleeting, and these unique family moments are special. However, we must accept that we cannot enjoy every single second of motherhood. The reality is that parenting is hard.
To the tired mothers, the new ones, those merely surviving, the sick, and all those at their wit’s end: it’s crucial to release the pressure of trying to enjoy every moment. This expectation can weigh heavily on us, adding to our feelings of inadequacy.
Instead, let’s consider reframing “enjoy” to “embrace.” What if, rather than striving to enjoy every moment, we leaned into them, even when they challenge us? Embracing the difficult moments is an act of resilience. It’s a declaration that the tough times do not define us. It’s about recognizing that we are more than just our frustrating minutes.
Now, when faced with the whining, the chaos, or the sheer exhaustion, I will look for something to embrace within each moment: a chocolate-covered cheek from a sneaky cookie thief, new words my child is experimenting with, or simply a laugh, even when the day feels derailed. I aim to live fully and audaciously, even amid the chaos of early motherhood.
So the next time someone advises you to enjoy these moments right before you feel the urge to scream, just smile and say, “I will.” Then, with all the determination you can muster, find one tiny moment to cherish amidst the whirlwind.
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Summary
Motherhood is filled with both joyous and challenging moments. While it’s impossible to savor every second, we can choose to embrace each experience, recognizing that our love for our children is what truly matters. By reframing our expectations, we can find small moments of joy even in chaos, allowing us to navigate the complexities of parenting with resilience.