“How long can this wait?” I inquire, bracing myself as the bright overhead light is switched off. The lingering taste of mint rinse clings to my mouth.
“It can’t wait. If the infection spreads to your jaw, it can lead to an abscess,” the dentist replies, her serious expression making it clear that there is no room for negotiation.
I grip the armrests of the chair tightly, my muscles still tense from the dental instruments clashing against my teeth. Later, I take to the internet to search “abscessed tooth”—a move I don’t recommend unless you’re inclined towards dental horror stories.
“What are my options?”
“You’ll need a root canal to remove the infection. It’s been developing for the past six to nine months,” she explains, showing me the x-ray of my mouth to identify the infection’s location. To my untrained eye, everything seems normal, but she assures me that harmful bacteria are present.
With a resigned sigh, I agree to return the following week.
Why did I delay a dental visit for over a year? Given my history with dental issues, it was clearly a poor choice, and the infection could have had serious consequences. I can’t even use the excuse of lacking dental insurance, as I have sufficient coverage. The truth is that there’s only one excuse I can find.
“You know how easy it is to neglect yourself while focusing on your child,” a friend remarked over coffee. I nodded, understanding her struggle. Yes, I have the impending root canal to prove it.
This reflection led me to consider the vast discrepancy between how I care for my 18-month-old son, Lucas, and my own self-care. I diligently ensure that he has a balanced diet, while I often indulge in unhealthy fast food. He sleeps soundly, yet I wander through my days in a daze. My version of self-care consists of quick snacks and binge-watching shows in the dark. Don’t ask when I last set foot in a gym.
For many parents of young children, self-care can feel almost impossible to achieve. We struggle to find time for basic needs, often sacrificing our own well-being in the process. The thought of regular, uninterrupted sleep feels like a distant dream. A word of caution: If you mention self-care to a sleep-deprived parent, expect an eye roll.
Lucas has become my best excuse for avoiding the dentist. The year I ignored my dental issues was filled with diaper changes, late-night feedings, and desperate pleas for him to sleep. Surely, caring for him justifies my neglect, right? The truth is, it does not. Deep down, I realize that using him as an excuse is a convenient cop-out. Although I wish to believe that neglecting my own needs for his sake is honorable, my conscience reminds me that this approach benefits no one.
I find myself contemplating what is truly beneficial: a parent who solely focuses on their child’s needs at the expense of their own, or a parent who practices self-care and sets a positive example for their child. I firmly believe that the latter is a far more valuable investment.
Our approach to self-care will teach our children how to take care of themselves. In their formative years, we may prioritize their nutrition and habits while neglecting our own, but eventually, they will notice how we treat ourselves and will emulate those behaviors. Pouring all my energy into unattainable standards while ignoring my own needs is not the example I want to set. I want to show Lucas that self-care is essential, especially in critical aspects of life.
What will my child observe? This question resonates within me. The reality is that our children are keen observers. Lucas is already aware of how much time I spend on my devices. It’s both amusing and alarming to see him mimic my smartphone usage. He watches me consume enough coffee to keep a battleship afloat, then pretends to brew his own cup.
I aspire to be more mindful during my time with Lucas. I do not seek parenting perfection, nor do I wish to foster guilt; rather, my goal is to remain aware that parenting is a reciprocal relationship. My child is a reflection of areas in my life that require improvement. I must not ignore the lessons that come from this reflection.
For further insights on parenting and self-care, you can explore related topics on this blog post. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, Make a Mom provides excellent resources. Additionally, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine is a valuable source for pregnancy and home insemination information.
In summary, mindful parenting involves prioritizing self-care not only for your own well-being but also as a model for your children. By demonstrating the importance of self-care, you equip your children with the tools they need to care for themselves as they grow.