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It’s Not Your Responsibility to Discipline Another Person’s Child
by Jessica Matthews
Feb. 18, 2023
We’ve all seen children misbehaving in public spaces. When a parent fails to address the situation, should bystanders intervene? The short answer is no. The long answer? Absolutely not.
This topic sparked considerable debate online after Alex Turner, a parenting blogger and mother of two, shared her experiences on the Australian program Morning Talk. Turner expressed her occasional inclination to correct the behavior of other people’s children. In one incident, while at a theater, a child persistently kicked her seat. After several attempts to communicate with the child through disapproving glances, she ultimately spoke to the mother, saying, “Could you please manage your child? This is quite bothersome.” The mother’s response? “Oh, he just gets restless in the theater.”
The host of Morning Talk, Lisa Harper, also shared her thoughts. Harper recounted a time she reprimanded a child who was knocking over shoes in a store, advising, “You might want to stop that; the store staff will have to clean it up and might get upset.” The child’s mother overheard and retorted, “How dare you speak to my child like that?”
While such scenarios can be frustrating, it’s crucial to recognize that we often lack insight into the full context of the child’s behavior. Correcting a child in the presence of their parents sends a clear message: you’re failing in your duties, so I will step in. While you might feel justified, consider the possibility that you could be mistaken. There may be underlying behavioral issues or circumstances that you aren’t aware of, and the parents could be exhausted from managing their child’s challenges.
As a community, we should extend a bit more understanding to one another. Yes, some parents are oblivious to their children’s misconduct. However, rushing to discipline another’s child assumes that such parents are the norm. It’s a gamble to intervene, as the outcome could vary widely: perhaps the parents will appreciate your help, but more commonly, they might feel offended by unsolicited advice. After all, how often do you seek guidance from a stranger when it comes to your own child’s behavior?
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In summary, it’s essential to recognize that intervening in another parent’s discipline may cause more harm than good. Understanding and empathy towards fellow parents can foster a healthier community environment.