People frequently assume my sons are girls, and while I gently correct them by using “he” and “him,” the reactions are often filled with embarrassment. “I’m so sorry,” they say, trailing off as if suggesting that my sons’ long hair is somehow inappropriate. However, I simply respond with, “It’s alright,” because having sons with long hair is just part of our family dynamic.
I’ve always appreciated the aesthetic of long hair on boys. In college, I often encouraged my partners to grow their hair out, and I spent years trying to persuade my husband to forgo the barber’s chair. I adore the look of long hair on young boys, so I knew from the start that I would let my sons’ hair grow.
My eldest son initially challenged this vision. He was born with a completely bald head, remaining so for nearly a year. Eventually, his hair began to grow, but not in a conventional manner; it fluffed out like a tiny Einstein. In contrast, my younger son has long, smooth hair that flows past his shoulders, perfectly embodying a surfer vibe. Our youngest, though still an infant, is developing a lovely set of beachy curls that I cherish.
Family members, particularly my mother and in-laws, have expressed their preferences for more traditional boyish hairstyles. While my in-laws tend to keep their opinions to themselves, my mother has made it clear she wishes she could take them for a trim. Such sentiments often stem from conventional gender norms, where short hair is deemed appropriate for boys and long hair for girls. I choose to overlook these objections.
There have been other criticisms regarding my sons’ hair. One person remarked that they appeared unkempt. I found this amusing at the time, but I later realized that a small trim could maintain their hair’s health without sacrificing length. My eldest son’s hair did indeed look messy, so I made the difficult decision to cut his baby hair to allow for more substantial growth. He ended up looking like a little sheep post-haircut, but he enjoys his new style and insists it will grow long again.
The most important factor is that my sons are happy with their hair. My oldest is committed to growing it out, while my middle son proudly declares that he aims to grow his hair down to his knees. The youngest isn’t old enough to voice his opinions yet, but when the time comes, I’ll respect his wishes, cutting it only if he desires it (with some tears on my part, of course).
My middle son understands that maintaining long hair requires some effort. We must ensure that nothing gets tangled in it, which sometimes leads to an impromptu bath and a thorough cleaning. Each morning, I brush his hair, and occasionally I use a straightener to style it. He claims to enjoy this routine, even though it requires him to be still.
Sometimes other children mistake my sons for girls or question why the “girls” are wearing Star Wars shirts. We always correct them, and for the most part, they adapt quickly. So far, my boys have been fortunate enough to avoid any bullying related to their hair. Perhaps it’s because long hair on boys is becoming more accepted, or maybe it’s due to the community we are in.
Ultimately, I cherish their long, silky locks. I admire that they have chosen their hairstyles free from societal expectations. Most importantly, their hair represents their individuality: it’s long, beautiful, and refreshingly different.
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In summary, my decision to let my sons grow their hair long is rooted in love and respect for their choices. I appreciate their unique expressions of identity and will support them as they navigate societal perceptions.