I understand that your responsibilities are significant and that motherhood has transformed your life in profound ways. It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling guilty for not being able to manage everything seamlessly. However, please don’t let our friendship become another source of guilt for you. Your well-being matters too much to me for that.
I notice the way you apologize when your child interrupts us for the umpteenth time or when your toddler suddenly needs a bathroom break. I can see the concerned expression on your face when your baby is fussing, and I know you wonder if I mind waiting while you tend to your children. It’s likely you feel bad about taking hours, or even days, to respond to my texts or calls. I get it; I’ve heard you express those feelings.
But let me be clear: there is no need for apologies.
Your children are simply being children. Babies cry, toddlers have accidents, and kids often create a bit of chaos. This is part of life.
As your friend, I want to share in your experiences, which now include the joys and challenges of motherhood. Whether we were friends during our carefree days of sleepovers and movie nights, or when we gathered for wine and deep conversations, I am still your friend today. Your life may now center around your kids, but that doesn’t change how much I care about you. Even if we met after you became a mom, your role is significant to me.
Friendship is about sharing life together, which sometimes means embracing the messiness of parenting. I’m perfectly fine with the fact that our “hangouts” now involve chatting while your children play and occasionally disrupt our conversation.
It’s essential for you to give yourself some grace. You don’t need to have everything under control! It’s completely normal for your kids to not always be well-behaved. Don’t worry about the toys scattered across your living room or the laundry piling up. I’m even willing to help entertain your kids or tidy up. After all, we’ve supported each other through various stages of life, from homework to moving. Why wouldn’t I do the same now? Plus, it’s good practice for me in case I decide to have children someday!
I never expected perfection from you, and I still don’t. I’m comfortable with the beautiful chaos of your life. I have my own form of chaos too; it may not be the same, but it certainly exists.
I care deeply about you and what matters in your life, even if our priorities differ. Let’s navigate this journey together, regardless of how it looks right now.
So, my friend, you truly don’t owe me an apology. The only thing I hope for is that you ask me how I’m doing, just as I inquire about your life. And if our conversations are interrupted by your little ones, that’s perfectly alright with me.
Warm regards,
Your Childless Friend
Additional Resources
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In Summary
Being a parent is challenging, and it’s essential to embrace the ups and downs without guilt. Our friendship should be a source of support, not stress. Let’s continue to uplift each other as we navigate our respective journeys.