I often encounter articles penned by fellow physicians who express their disillusionment with the medical field. They voice frustrations about being constrained by patient satisfaction metrics, feeling undervalued due to misinformation from online sources like “WebMD,” and grappling with the demands of patients who arrive with preconceived diagnoses. Many express a desire to leave the profession altogether.
These sentiments resonate with my own experiences; however, what we rarely discuss is what continually draws us back in.
Take, for instance, my patient in Room 7. She is a frightened 10-week pregnant woman, worried that she is experiencing a miscarriage. To mask her anxiety, she occupies herself with her adorable, curly-haired 2-year-old daughter. After ultrasound and blood tests, we confirm her fears: she is, indeed, miscarrying. She adjusts her daughter’s perfectly buttoned shirt while I deliver the heartbreaking news. Holding back tears, she nods and attempts a smile, putting on a brave front for her little one. I take a seat beside her and grasp her hand, striving to offer her a glimmer of hope. Before I leave, she gives my hand a reassuring squeeze.
In Room 1, I attend to a 92-year-old woman nearing the end of her life. Her daughter is by her side, and although she celebrated Thanksgiving just weeks ago surrounded by her 17 great-grandchildren, her health has declined. She has chosen to decline further treatment, opting instead to spend her final days at home with her family. During my shift, it becomes clear that today is her time.
Her son later approaches me, requesting that I ensure his mother passes away with dignity. We switch off the monitors, dim the harsh lights, and disconnect her from the wires. I watch as she is enveloped by her family’s love during her final breaths. Her daughter clutches the necklace we had removed earlier, rocking back and forth, softly murmuring “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.” I offer her comfort, but my hands fumble as I try to place the necklace around her neck—her simple request feels monumental in this sacred moment.
As the frantic pace of the emergency department slows, I am overwhelmed with the desire to fulfill this one small act of kindness. A month later, I receive a holiday card from the patient’s son, adorned with evergreens and glitter. It serves as a poignant reminder that this family’s holidays will never be the same. His message, thanking me for honoring his mother’s dignity, stays with me. Three years later, that card remains a cherished keepsake among letters from friends and family.
In Room 11, first-time parents bring in their 3-month-old son, who is inconsolable. He cries day and night, and despite multiple visits to their pediatrician, they find themselves in the emergency department at 2 a.m. We conduct examinations and find nothing physically wrong, leaving the parents bewildered.
In a quiet moment, we gather around the semi-sleeping baby to share our experiences. I recount my own struggles with my son, who also cried incessantly, leaving my husband and me utterly drained. We laugh softly about the absurdity of sleep deprivation and how, one day, our son simply began to sleep through the night. The parents listen intently, finding solace in knowing they are not alone. They leave with their son, still crying, but perhaps with a renewed sense of hope.
The reality is that I entered medicine with the belief that my dedication to understanding illness and treatments would enable me to help others in their most vulnerable moments. Over time, I’ve learned that medicine is fundamentally about compassion. Yet, it also entails navigating challenges and maintaining balance in life. I strive to leave my work behind so that I can embrace my roles as a mother, daughter, and wife.
However, certain moments linger deeply within me, replaying in my mind long after the patients have left. These experiences, both heartwarming and heartbreaking, are what fuel my resilience. Though I sometimes feel the urge to walk away, a simple hand squeeze, a heartfelt thank-you, or a shared laugh can reignite my purpose. It’s these moments that remind me why I continue in this demanding but rewarding profession.
For more insights on navigating parenting and medical life, you can explore resources on home insemination, such as this informative article on Intracervical Insemination. If you’re looking for expert advice on artificial insemination kits, Make a Mom has you covered. Additionally, for comprehensive information on pregnancy, IVF Babble is an excellent resource.
In summary, the journey of balancing a medical career with motherhood is fraught with challenges, yet it is these poignant moments with patients that remind us of our purpose and keep us grounded.