As we enter a new year, it’s common for individuals to set resolutions for self-improvement. For parents, the hope is that their toddlers might consider some positive changes as well. Here’s a humorous take on what those resolutions could look like.
- Prioritize sleep. And reduce couch nose wipes.
- Organize toys effectively. Goodbye, Bins of Chaos!
- Accept that certain items—like knives and loose change—aren’t age-appropriate.
- Cultivate better relationships. Be kinder to familiar faces and selectively nice to strangers.
- Aim to minimize the surface area touched in public restrooms.
- Break free from the remote control—it has caused too much familial drama.
- Stop worrying about trivial matters. Broccoli mingling with mashed potatoes? Perfectly fine!
- Be mindful of my carbon footprint by leaving toilet paper rolls intact.
- Enhance productivity. Goal: halve the time spent getting dressed.
- Explore a new hobby that allows for hours of uninterrupted playtime, requires minimal investment, and doesn’t involve a travel team.
- Master aiming—whether it’s in the bucket for vomit or the toilet for pee.
- Cease comparisons with older kids—it’s perfectly fine to be my age.
- Embrace seasonal changes—this means wearing coats in winter and sunscreen in summer.
- Improve personal hygiene—less syrup in hair and matching socks would be a great start.
- Quiet the internal alarm clock that wakes me at the crack of dawn.
- Face fears—be it the doctor, strange noises at night, or brushing teeth for more than 30 seconds.
- Recognize that not all mail is addressed to me.
- Strive to share more readily with friends during playdates.
- Ponder the mysteries of where the mess I create goes.
- Clean up my dietary habits—experimenting with red sauce on pasta instead of just mac and cheese.
- Appreciate nice belongings while resisting the urge to decorate them with crayons.
- Develop patience—2016 is the year for tackling the improbable.
- Rethink my response to the word “no.” The dramatic breath holding didn’t work last year.
- End the habit of changing the dishwasher to rinse only.
- Cut back on the excessive number of “why?” questions daily.
- Work on trusting my parents’ advice, especially regarding safety and jumping from high places.
As a side note, I’ll be focusing on cleaning up my own diet as well, as my current intake is heavily skewed towards baked goods. This aligns perfectly with my toddler’s resolution journey.
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In summary, these playful resolutions highlight the hopes parents have for their toddlers in the upcoming year. By encouraging positive behaviors and fostering growth, families can navigate parenting challenges with humor and grace.