Menu: Pregnancy
My Uterus Is Not Open for Judgment
by Taylor Reynolds
Updated: Dec. 21, 2023
Originally Published: Dec. 21, 2023
As someone who has delivered four children, I feel I have a valid perspective on this topic. Lately, I’ve been on a personal campaign against judgment, and honestly, we could all benefit from a bit more compassion in these discussions. Here’s my main argument: Don’t assess another’s experience based on your own.
This is a principle worth adopting. Labor and delivery are unique journeys for each individual. As my friends begin their own experiences of bringing new life into the world, I find myself wanting to protect their feelings and their choices, which are not subject to public scrutiny. There seems to be a prevailing attitude that there’s a “right” way to do this—let’s challenge that notion.
Exhibit A: Weight Gain
Let’s agree to avoid discussing this topic altogether. Some women gain weight in a way that’s considered “ideal” by pregnancy literature, and while that’s commendable, it shouldn’t set a standard for others. Others may gain weight due to factors beyond their control like genetics or morning sickness; this is not something to judge or offer unsolicited advice about. There are also those who may feel like they are gaining an overwhelming amount of weight, and that’s perfectly okay too—after all, they are nurturing a human being. To all the varied experiences of weight gain, I salute you.
Exhibit B: Birth Method
Once again, I return to my initial point: Do not judge another’s body or birthing experience based on your own. Each labor is distinct, and it’s unrealistic to assume they will be the same. Even my four labors, experienced with the same body, are deserving of their own titles—perhaps “The Calm Before the Storm,” “The Head That Couldn’t Fit,” “The Epic Battle,” and “The Unexpected Twist.” And for those who undergo a Caesarean section, remember that while some may argue it’s overused, it has also saved lives. Women who face this situation are incredibly strong. Just consider the stories of those who endure long labor before a C-section or experience complications—let’s offer support instead of judgment.
So, let’s empower each mother to own her story without feeling the weight of others’ opinions. Because, ultimately, every story is significant.
Exhibit C: Birth Location
I appreciate the humor in comedian Mike Lawson’s take on home births, especially when he shares how some people express their preference for hospital births with the fear of complications. The reality is that every individual should have the freedom to choose where they feel most comfortable and safe during labor. Personally, I thrive in a hospital setting, while others may prefer the privacy of home. Unless you’re the one in labor, it’s best to keep your opinions to yourself.
We haven’t even touched on the experiences of women who choose not to have children, those who face infertility challenges, or those who bravely confront postpartum depression. Each of these stories, along with those of surrogates and adoptive parents, deserves recognition and respect.
Ladies, let’s come together, acknowledge each other’s paths, and say, “I appreciate you, and thus I honor your journey.” If you take away nothing else from this, remember this: Don’t judge another’s experience.
Summary:
This article encourages a compassionate perspective on pregnancy and childbirth, emphasizing that each woman’s experience is unique and should not be judged against others. It highlights the importance of support over criticism, regardless of weight gain, birth method, or location. It calls for a collective understanding and respect for all motherhood journeys, advocating for kindness and validation among women.