In the realm of parenting discussions, a frequently posed question arises whenever I find myself away from my child for a significant period: “You must really miss him, right?” The answer, surprisingly, is no.
As a freelance writer who has the privilege of working from home, I navigate a fulfilling career while caring for my little one. My schedule is packed with deadlines, conference calls, and supportive editors who trust in my capabilities. Alongside this, I have a delightful 1-year-old son who adores his playtime and story sessions, firmly believing that only I can lull him to sleep.
My professional obligations sometimes necessitate stepping away from my son—whether it’s to pen an article in another room or travel to a different state for a story assignment. Each time I engage in activities that don’t directly involve him, I encounter the same inquiries about missing him. The curious glances and raised eyebrows seem to question how I manage time apart from my child.
I often respond with the socially accepted answer, acknowledging how challenging it can be and expressing eagerness to return home, which holds some truth. Yet, the reality is that I genuinely do not find it difficult. My passion for my work and the opportunities it affords me bring me immense joy. When I am engrossed in writing an article or attending a meeting, my thoughts are fully focused on the task at hand—not my child. In those moments, I feel a sense of purpose and fulfillment that energizes me.
In fact, I anticipate my time away from my son. This isn’t due to any overwhelming feelings he may evoke, but rather because I cherish engaging in activities that are solely my own. I relish nurturing my career, friendships, and personal projects that can only thrive when I have time to myself. While I treasure the moments with my child, I equally value the moments spent pursuing my professional aspirations.
So, no, I do not miss my son during those work hours. As mothers, we often hesitate to admit that we find joy in our endeavors apart from our children. Fathers are seldom asked if they miss their kids while working, but mothers frequently feel compelled to express regret over their dual roles. Society often expects us to yearn for home when we are away, implying that if we could, we would choose to stay home with our children. Yet, my choice to work is not out of obligation; it is a decision I make for my personal growth and satisfaction.
From time to time, guilt may creep in, whispering that I’m failing as a parent or that my choices could have negative implications for my child. This internal voice, fueled by insecurities, can be quite persuasive. I strive to silence it, yet it can linger, reminding me of my self-doubts.
Indeed, there are fleeting moments when I feel a pang of longing for my child—but these sensations arise when I am en route to see him or just after parting ways. It’s less about missing him and more about the impatience to reconnect. However, during those work-related absences, my focus is steadfastly on my professional responsibilities.
Therefore, when you inquire if I miss my child while I’m busy, I may nod and give the expected response, but it won’t reflect the whole truth. The reality is that I find fulfillment and achievement beyond my role as a mother. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
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Summary:
Balancing professional aspirations with motherhood can be complex. While societal norms often suggest that mothers should miss their children when away, many mothers find fulfillment in their careers and personal pursuits. Acknowledging the importance of personal growth alongside parenting is essential, and it’s okay to embrace the joy that comes from both roles.