“Just wait until you have kids.”
Even as a parent, this phrase sends shivers down my spine. Recently, while juggling my daughter at the grocery store, a fellow shopper casually remarked, “Just wait until you have two!”
At first glance, it seemed innocent enough, but a flurry of thoughts rushed through my mind. Why do you assume I want to have more children? What if I’m struggling with infertility—how would your comment affect me? And why does it feel like a contest to see who has the most chaotic shopping experience?
I managed a polite smile and returned to my grocery list, but I firmly resolved never to utter the phrase “just wait until you…” to anyone else. When I was single, people told me, “Just wait until you’re married.” I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard, “Wait until you have kids.” Even during my college years, well-meaning individuals would say, “Just wait until you’re in the real world.”
Now that I’m married and navigating parenthood, I still grapple with the intent behind those comments. My life had meaning and fulfillment while I was in school, before marriage, and prior to becoming a parent. Yes, life is different now—there’s more fatigue, but also more joy—but it’s just as purposeful and valuable.
We often find ourselves in a competition to prove we’re busier, more sleep-deprived, or generally having a tougher time than others. The truth is, we can’t possibly know all the nuances of the challenges others face. Life can be overwhelming—whether it’s demanding jobs, relationship troubles, infertility, health issues, or countless other struggles.
I refuse to say “wait until…” because it disregards what someone is experiencing in the present. It undermines their current self-worth and focuses solely on the notion that life will become harder. Sometimes, silence speaks louder. A simple, empathetic smile that conveys, “I’ve been there, and you’re doing great,” is often all that’s needed.
For more insights on the complexities of parenthood and fertility, check out this piece on Cervical Insemination. If you’re exploring options for at-home insemination, consider visiting Make a Mom, a trusted source for insemination kits. Additionally, for guidance on IVF and fertility preservation, the Cleveland Clinic offers fantastic resources.
In summary, let’s choose our words wisely. Instead of projecting future hardships, let’s recognize and appreciate the struggles and triumphs of others in their current moments.
Leave a Reply