Hey there, kiddos!
I think it’s time we have a little heart-to-heart about our family dynamics. We might be a bit quirky, and sometimes we share a bit too much with people outside our close-knit circle. While we might not be as unusual as I think, I’ve noticed that many other families seem to have a better grasp on what’s appropriate to discuss in public. This realization hit me recently when we were at a restaurant, and one of you excitedly shouted, “It’s my turn to hold the vibrater!” as you snatched the pager from me. Oh boy, did I know we needed to have this conversation.
Now, I’m hoping you aren’t fully aware of what a vibrater is. You meant no harm; it’s just that you enjoy the way it feels. But let’s maybe keep those pagers out of our clothes from now on—who knows where they’ve been?
How about we try to keep our voices down a little? It would be super helpful if we could save certain comments for home and hold off on sharing things unless we’re absolutely sure it’s appropriate. I think your mother would appreciate not wanting to hide her head in a corner when we’re out and about.
I know how thrilled you get when I buy you a new toothbrush, especially since I constantly remind you to brush those tiny teeth. But if I have to take a quick bathroom break in the store, it’s not the right time to whip out your new toothbrush and start brushing at the water fountain after I told you to wait. Following directions is always the best choice.
And let’s talk about that time you declared you had to take a “Trump dump” before heading off for a lengthy bathroom break. I laughed, but when I asked you not to repeat it, I was serious—even if I struggled to contain my laughter. You thought it was hilarious, but I’d prefer you save those gems for outside the dinner table with our guests over. Let’s try to keep some topics to ourselves; I’d love to invite those friends back without the worry of what you might say.
It’s understandable that when you walked in on me during a personal moment last year, it was shocking. I explained what was happening and reiterated that some stories aren’t for sharing. No one wants to hear that tale again. And while it was amusing to see you relate Daddy’s “surgery” to when we had the puppy fixed, hearing you tell folks that your dad had his balls chopped off for not making babies anymore is not the best way to share family news. So, if it involves private matters, please check with either me or your father before sharing with the world, especially in aisle 6 of the grocery store.
On a brighter note, hissing when you’re upset is a creative way to express yourselves, and I appreciate it. It’s far better than yelling or hitting, but remember, it’s not appropriate to direct that at adults, especially your teachers.
So here’s the deal: you’re getting older, and it’s high time we start keeping some of our family quirks behind closed doors. We can still be our goofy selves, but let’s keep that fun just between us. I guarantee if we can keep things a little more private, we might get invited to more gatherings—and who knows, that could be just as entertaining as embarrassing me in public. Plus, if I’m not constantly cringing, I might even spend less on those calming beverages after a family outing!
Let’s make this work, shall we?
Love,
Mom
P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about family dynamics, check out this insightful post on Cervical Insemination. And if you’re considering at-home insemination options, Make a Mom is a reputable source for kits. For additional information about pregnancy and home insemination, visit Drugs.com.
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