Parenting
When it comes to the excitement of hearing a child’s first words, parents often find themselves bubbling with anticipation. It’s a significant milestone, and we invest our energy in nurturing our little ones’ communication skills. We patiently guide them in articulating words and naming the world around them, eagerly counting the number of words they string together and celebrating those precious two- and three-word phrases, all the while keeping our eyes on the ultimate goal: complete sentences.
But let’s take a moment to reconsider this approach. Are we really doing the right thing by pushing them to express themselves so fluently? Perhaps we should be rethinking our strategy altogether. What if, instead, we focused on limiting their speech for a little while longer?
After all, new talkers can be quite the social handful—little bundles of unfiltered commentary. Sudden outbursts can turn into “oops” moments, and as parents, we suddenly become hyper-aware of every word we say, needing to think twice before speaking. Gone are the days of throwing around opinions, engaging in controversial discussions, or letting a curse word slip.
I grew up on the East Coast, and let me tell you, asking me to hold back on expressing myself is like asking a fish to climb a tree. Controlling my language is as unrealistic as committing to a lifetime of vegetarianism—especially when you’re stuck in Seattle traffic! It takes every ounce of restraint to keep my language PG, or let’s be honest, even PG-13.
The problem? Our children are like little sponges, soaking up everything we say. If you complain about Aunt Marie’s visits, don’t be shocked when your child cheerfully announces, “Mommy doesn’t like when you come over!” And if you think a little cursing is harmless, your kid might just greet their preschool teacher with a cheerful “Hi, losers!”
Privacy? Forget it. It’s as if you’ve signed up for a reality TV show where your most embarrassing moments are broadcasted for the world to see. Everything from your meal choices to your bathroom habits can become the topic of discussion. And let’s face it, we often share the most intimate details about our toddlers with strangers, so it’s only fair that they return the favor.
But there’s more. Combine their newfound ability to talk with their capacity for critical thinking, and you’ve got a recipe for chaos. Suddenly, your little one is asking questions about everything they encounter for the first time, and those inquiries can lead to some truly awkward situations.
Imagine your son, during a school event, loudly asking a teacher in skinny jeans, “Mommy, why does she have a big butt?” You’ll be left scrambling for a polite response because you want her to like you. Or picture a sunny day at the park when he yells, “Mommy, why does that man only have one leg?” You’ll be forced to explain without offending anyone, all while feeling the weight of every curious gaze around you.
To make matters worse, you can often sense the impending embarrassment before it happens. You’re in a crowded store, praying your child doesn’t spot that one person you’d rather they not engage with. But that lollipop you offer won’t distract them, and yes, they will insist on discussing it out loud—while you try to discreetly shove your phone into their hands.
Here are just a few of the cringe-worthy comments my kids have made in public:
- “Mommy, there’s hair in my food!” – during dinner at a friend’s place.
- “What are those lines on your face?” – to one of our older babysitters.
- “Do you have a baby in your tummy?” – to my dad.
- “Your breath smells weird!” – to me, right after I’d had coffee.
- “She has a big butt.” – in front of a random woman at the grocery store.
- “Why does he have chocolate all over his skin?” – in front of my friend at the gym.
- “Your house smells bad!” – during a play date.
- “Because my mom will just throw it out” – to his Hebrew school teacher about why he wasn’t taking his project home.
So, why not consider slowing down on the encouragement to speak? They’ll have plenty of time for that later!
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In summary, while encouraging speech in children is a natural part of parenting, it’s essential to recognize the challenges that come with it. From the potential for embarrassment to the loss of privacy, the journey can be anything but smooth. So perhaps it’s worth considering a more measured approach to their verbal development.
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