I’m a mom, a partner, and sometimes a little bit of a hot mess. I’m a decent person, but I’m certainly not a maid, a gourmet chef, or anyone’s hired help.
These days, discussions around parenting often leave us feeling like we’re not measuring up. The societal expectations are overwhelming. I often grapple with the concept of what being a “good” parent means. The so-called “ideal” parents seem to have perfectly clean homes, laundry done, and are personally dropping their kids off at school each day. They’re engaging in endless playdates and preparing nutritious lunches with kale chips and yogurt.
But that’s just not me.
Honestly, my dining room table has become a jungle of laundry, so high that we can’t sit and actually see each other’s faces. I might as well start wearing my period underwear for fun. My dog has been known to pull soggy socks from the clothesline, and a pair of my son’s shoes has been chewed to bits. I haven’t picked them up yet, and let’s be real, I probably won’t for at least another week. The laundry that’s been hanging outside has been there for far too long. A Duplo block, a pencil, and a clean diaper have been lounging in my hallway for days, and I’ve formed a bond with them, nodding in acknowledgment as I pass by. My daughter has a dirty diaper that I’ll get to… eventually. The smell is nothing short of horrific.
Did your child watch more than an hour of TV today? On most days, my son is glued to the screen from 7 until 10 or even later. Sometimes I don’t even realize the TV has been on all day until it’s past lunchtime, and his obsession with Pirate Jake is starting to resemble a serious addiction.
And yes, my daughter asks me to play with her all the time. Just now, she did, but I’m too busy sipping coffee and being a not-so-great mom by writing this. Playing with my kids is not my favorite pastime; it’s about as appealing to me as getting up at dawn. Remember when we entertained ourselves for hours while our parents were busy? Our kids can manage that too.
Do your kids turn their noses up at dinner? The pressure to serve them wholesome meals can be suffocating. Last night, dinner was white bread with butter and cake. Yup, cake. Oh, and a chocolate bar at their brother’s BMX training at 7 p.m. What’s the big deal?
Feeling overwhelmed by the countless after-school activities your child is involved in? My soul aches, and my 10-year-old only does one activity. Sometimes we even tell him it’s canceled just to avoid going. You know, the classic parent excuses: “I’m too tired,” “It’s too cold,” or my personal favorite, “I can’t handle social situations tonight.”
Is your friend on social media posting about crafts with her kids again? Don’t sweat it; I’m not. Have you ever tried to clean up glitter and paint? Not in my house! Pens and pencils are the extent of our creative endeavors—unless I’m feeling particularly generous and the house is spotless, which is a rarity.
Does the idea of matching socks for your kids stress you out? Right now, my daughter is wearing one of my socks and one of her brother’s. She’s two, and honestly, I’m not concerned.
Are your kids having meltdowns in public, and you find yourself grappling with how to discipline them while others stare? Just smile and wave, folks. Smile and wave.
Do you have to watch your language because your kids are like little parrots? My daughter recently called our dog a “butthead.” High-five me later.
Here’s the reality: none of these things make me a bad parent. They simply reflect my comfort with my parenting style. Sometimes those little ones need to learn independence. It’s perfectly okay to indulge in junk food, and yes, TV can be a helpful distraction when you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s certainly preferable to losing my cool and yelling at them to be quiet.
The laundry might not be done because I’m spending time with my kids—mostly because I’d rather sip coffee than tackle that chore. And yes, my kids occasionally swear because, well, sometimes that’s just life.
We are human first, and being a mom comes second. We’re all still figuring out this complex role until our last days. We read stories to our kids at night, shower them with kisses, share laughs, and give them all the love we can muster, despite the chaos. Their affection for us doesn’t hinge on how much TV they watch or whether their socks match.
I, Jenna, a constantly evolving human, am not on hold because I’m a mother. Neither are you. I strive to be a decent person, despite the challenges of motherhood. Societal expectations won’t define me.
For more relatable insights on parenting, check out this blog post about family dynamics from our friends at Modern Family Blog. If you’re considering at-home insemination, Make A Mom offers reliable insemination kits. And for a wealth of information on fertility and pregnancy, Science Daily is an excellent resource.
In summary, being a mom is a journey filled with ups and downs. It’s about finding balance, embracing imperfections, and nurturing our humanity along the way.
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