Parenting Insights
By Jamie Anderson
Updated: December 29, 2018
Originally Published: November 5, 2015
Greetings, I’m here to discuss parenting from an alternative perspective.
In the face of today’s unrealistic expectations of what constitutes a “good” parent, I find myself labeled a failure. I cherish my time with my child, but I unapologetically embrace a more laid-back approach to parenting. During our outings to the playground, you’ll often find me seated on a bench while my child enjoys independent play. I’m not the parent chasing after them or insisting they share their toys with strangers. Is my child occasionally hungry or feeling a bit selfish? Certainly. Do I lose sleep over it? Absolutely not.
While I read, clean, or engage with social media, my child is often happily playing nearby. It’s not constant, but I’ve committed to being as relaxed as possible in my parenting style. After all, “lazy” can be the new chic—think of it as the comfy yoga pants of motherhood compared to the high-strung, demanding Tiger Mom.
Here are my seven (totally unofficial) tips for being a more relaxed parent without compromising your child’s well-being.
Tip #1: Give Them Space
Allowing children to play independently is beneficial for their development. It’s essential to avoid raising overly dependent kids. Children need to learn to entertain themselves.
Tip #2: Simplify Communication
Excessive chatter about why a child should eat their vegetables is unnecessary. Just serve the meal and move on. If they don’t want to eat, that’s their choice.
Tip #3: Embrace Hunger
Hunger isn’t a crisis; it’s a natural part of life. In my childhood, we roamed freely and returned home ready to eat anything. If kids are hungry enough, they will seek out food.
Tip #4: Moderate Screen Time
While not all television is harmful, choose educational programs for your child. A little screen time can provide you with a much-needed break, allowing for some quiet time to recharge.
Tip #5: Create a Safe Space
Let your child have freedom within a safe environment. For instance, my daughter has a mattress on the floor, which allows her to explore independently while I enjoy a moment to myself.
Tip #6: Allow Treats Sparingly
Children are savvy and will know if treats are available. Limiting sugary snacks in the house can help maintain a balanced diet. If treats are present, I offer choices in moderation.
Tip #7: Enforce Household Responsibilities
Establishing a chore system can foster independence. Children can learn to pick up after themselves, which lightens the load for tired parents.
While direct interaction is important for a child’s growth, it doesn’t have to consume every moment of your day. Embrace your laid-back approach—your family will benefit from it.
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In summary, embracing a relaxed parenting style can foster independence in children while also allowing parents to enjoy their time. It’s about balance and understanding that parenting doesn’t have to be a constant battle for attention.