Next week, I’ll be embarking on a trip with my close friend. Here’s the truth: I won’t miss my child one bit during our four-day getaway.
We’ll enjoy our own comfortable beds, indulge in long, hot showers every day, and sip coffee while it’s still steaming hot. We’ll have uninterrupted adult conversations, interspersed with peaceful moments of silence, accompanied by leisurely bike rides and nature walks. I’ll go to bed when I choose, waking up with the sun at whatever hour feels right. I can even enjoy that second glass of wine, knowing my only midnight responsibility is to myself.
Of course, I’ll feel a twinge of longing for my 2-year-old, especially around his bedtime when I typically cherish the cuddles and our delightful routine of laughter and songs before he drifts off to sleep. But aside from that, I am completely serious.
From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was eager to have someone else share the joys and burdens of parenting. While I wasn’t looking to completely relinquish my responsibilities, I definitely wanted a partner in the journey (and thankfully, my husband is a fantastic co-parent, akin to the culinary genius Alton Brown).
Our initial experience with parenthood was incredibly intense. After my son suffered a stroke shortly after birth and spent his first week in the NICU, I dedicated myself to pumping every three hours and sitting by his bedside for 20 hours a day, hoping for his recovery. Finally bringing him home was a joyous moment, but within 48 hours, I craved time to myself. I pumped milk, placed him down for a nap, and left him in my husband’s capable hands for a few hours, primarily driven by my need to relieve the pressure from my full breasts.
Fast forward seven months later, my son was diagnosed with life-threatening food allergies, which kept us mostly homebound and heightened my anxiety. I found myself counting down the minutes until my husband returned home, eagerly waiting for the moment I could escape the house, even if just for a couple of hours, to gather my thoughts before returning to my feeding and pumping schedule.
Now that my 2-year-old is thriving and life has become more manageable, I still find myself needing breaks. I require space to think, to breathe, and to regain my sense of self — even if it’s just for an hour, a day, or a week. These moments are scarce, yet essential for my mental well-being.
I strive to counter the narrative that suggests I’m failing at motherhood. I know many mothers who struggle with the idea of leaving their children, but I can’t relate. For me, being a mother can’t dominate my entire identity; it’s simply too overwhelming. In fact, I need a balance. I need social interactions, but not too many, as large crowds can be overwhelming. I also need solitary time to be the attentive mother my child deserves. He is a vital part of my universe, but he cannot be my sole focus. If I’m honest with myself, stepping away from my son helps me reconnect with my desire to be fully present when I return. This realization may seem selfish to some, but it ultimately serves my sanity.
So, while I enjoy hot coffee, long walks, and the freedom of being child-free for a bit, I know that when I return, I’ll be able to engage with my son fully. With a refreshed heart, I can embrace motherhood once again.
For additional insights on the journey of parenthood, you might find this article on intracervical insemination helpful. If you’re looking for a trusted resource on home insemination, check out Make a Mom, an authority on the subject. Another great resource is Progyny, which offers valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, it’s perfectly normal to seek personal time away from parenting duties. Taking breaks not only benefits the parent but also enhances the quality of interaction and presence when they return to their child. Recognizing the need for balance is crucial for maintaining mental well-being and fulfilling parenting.