Updated: Oct. 10, 2015
Originally Published: Oct. 10, 2015
I find myself at the dinner table with my son, who is gleefully launching pieces of food at me. He pokes his finger into a slice of cucumber, watching with delight as it shatters and tumbles to the floor. When I gently remind him that such behavior is not appropriate at the table, he leaps up, bouncing on his chair, laughing uncontrollably.
Unfortunately, I am not sharing in his laughter. In fact, it feels as though he is reveling in my frustration.
Today has been particularly challenging. A quick glance at the wine rack reveals it to be completely bare. Realizing that we could make it to the wine store before closing, I swiftly secure my son in his car seat and we set off.
Upon arriving at the store, I take a deep breath as the cool air washes over me. Rows of enticing wines call out from every shelf, but I head straight for my preferred rosé and grab four bottles. Suddenly, I feel a sharp jab on my leg and look down to see my son biting me.
“Why are you doing this?” I ask, only to be met with a high-pitched, maniacal laugh. Once again, I sense that he is finding amusement in my plight.
I pull away just in time to dodge another bite and make my way to the checkout with the bottles clutched in my arms as he trails behind, teeth bared.
After paying, I take his hand and we step back into the sweltering parking lot. He releases his grip on my leg only to plop down on the hot asphalt. I scoop him up and wrestle him into the car seat, enduring his complaints about the heat and a now-soiled dress.
“Of course it’s dirty,” I explain, “You just sat in a parking lot.”
His face scrunches up, tears welling in his eyes, and I can’t help but feel the same way.
On days like this, I often question my abilities as a mother. I struggle to understand how to manage his biting, his laughter at my expense, or his penchant for sitting in unsuitable places.
If only there were a comprehensive guide to motherhood. It could cover topics like getting toddlers to eat, helping babies sleep, and navigating the tumultuous phase of the terrible twos. Despite hours of online research, I frequently find that the advice I come across simply doesn’t apply to my child.
As lost as I sometimes feel, I remind myself that I am not alone in this experience. There are many mothers out there who share similar struggles—those whose toddlers hit, those whose children will only eat if they can dip everything in ketchup, and those wrestling with the emotional rollercoaster that is a 2-year-old.
That evening, after the biting incident at the wine store, I decided to reach out to friends, pouring my heart out via text. I expressed my feelings of inadequacy and my embarrassment over my son’s erratic behavior. I admitted my confusion over how to help him find balance and control.
The collective wisdom of my friends reminded me that I am not failing. My son is not a problem child; we were merely having a rough day.
I tucked him into bed early that night and poured myself a generous glass of wine. I then crawled under the covers, seeking solace from the day’s chaos.
Parenthood doesn’t come with a manual, but there are countless other parents out there who can provide reassurance that you are not facing these challenges alone. So, to all the mothers out there, on days when you feel utterly worn out and are trying to shake off a biting toddler, reach out to a friend. Visit a local park, grab a coffee at Starbucks, or join a music class, and look for another mom who shares that familiar, exhausted expression. You may find that while no one may have endured a day quite like yours, many can empathize with your struggles.
Motherhood is not always a joyful journey; sometimes it involves sipping wine and hiding beneath the covers. And that’s perfectly okay.
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In summary, while parenting can often feel overwhelming, it is important to remember that you are not alone in your struggles. Connecting with others can provide much-needed support and reassurance.