Parenting
By Jamie Thompson
Updated: Jan. 8, 2018
Originally Published: Oct. 7, 2015
While I rationalized the decision to buy a minivan, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it would brand me as a typical 30-something dad, a label I was hesitant to embrace. Admittedly, I am that person, but I don’t want to visibly appear as such. I still crave that youthful vibe, the kind that makes the younger crowd perceive me as cool or attractive. I want to feel young and carefree without the complications often associated with youth. I’m content in my marriage and career, yet I long for that sense of freedom. This internal conflict was at the core of my reluctance towards buying a minivan.
Acquiring a minivan felt like I was sacrificing something intangible—perhaps my youth or my coolness. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but on the drive to the dealership, I felt a wave of anxiety. I tried to convince myself it was just the pressure of making a significant purchase, but deep down, I knew that wasn’t the whole story.
We ultimately purchased our first minivan, a Mazda, from a dealership 30 miles away. As I drove it home, dread washed over me. I wished we had opted for a larger sedan or an SUV—something with four-wheel drive that felt a bit more adventurous. But with three kids, squeezing them into our compact car felt like an act of juggling. It simply wasn’t working anymore, and while I didn’t feel as geeky driving our sedan, the reality was that it just wasn’t practical.
This, I’ve realized, is one of the more challenging aspects of growing older: the shift from valuing coolness to embracing practicality. Everything I do now seems rooted in that practicality. Recently, one of my favorite punk bands announced a reunion concert in Chicago. I briefly contemplated going, despite knowing that the band members are nearing 60 and I’d likely end up with a sore back. The thought of escaping my responsibilities to see a band I loved was tempting, but then I reminded myself of our plans to save for the holidays. I could already imagine the conversation with my children where my partner had to explain, “We had a lovely Christmas planned, but Dad decided to blow that money on a concert and now he needs back surgery.” What a selfish decision that would have been.
Ultimately, these are the sacrifices that come with parenthood. We must prioritize what benefits the family, even if it means missing out on concerts or opting for a seemingly uncool minivan because it’s the most efficient way to transport our children to soccer practice.
However, just two weeks after acquiring the minivan, I discovered that, while I felt like an old fogey behind the wheel, I had never been more comfortable traveling with my kids. The space allowed us to accommodate all their belongings, and we could seat them far enough apart to prevent any kicking or physical altercations. On rainy days, I could easily climb inside to assist with buckling without getting drenched. There was ample room for groceries and even a stroller. The sliding doors made entering and exiting a breeze, eliminating the need for anyone to crawl over their siblings.
In retrospect, it was an excellent decision to invest in a minivan. Even though it feels like I’ve traded trendy attire for practical shoes and casual wear, I wouldn’t trade the convenience it provides.
This experience encapsulates the essence of adulthood. It symbolizes the transition from youth to a life of parenting. It doesn’t merely involve having children; it manifests in the choices we make, like purchasing a minivan. It resembles swapping out fashionable clothing for comfortable, practical options like polo shirts and cargo shorts, or yoga pants and Crocs. The focus shifts to decisions that enhance the ease of parenting and ultimately contribute to the happiness of both parents and children alike.
My advice? Embrace the change. Don’t resist it. Go ahead and buy the minivan. It’s a worthwhile investment. Own your role as a parent and make the choices that reflect that, even if they might make you feel a little dorky.
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Summary:
Buying a minivan often symbolizes the transition into practical adulthood, especially for parents. While it may seem uncool, the benefits of space, comfort, and practicality for family logistics far outweigh initial reservations. Embracing these changes, even if they feel dorky, is part of the journey of parenthood.