Often, it is said that parenthood enhances one’s character, yet my experience has led me to feel quite the opposite. Recently, when I discussed this with my partner, he asserted that fatherhood had improved him, and he believes it has done the same for me. However, I respectfully disagree.
It’s important to clarify that I don’t consider myself a bad person or an inadequate parent; in fact, I take pride in my parenting skills. Nevertheless, I’ve noticed that certain aspects of my personality—traits that were once manageable—have become amplified since becoming a mother. I find myself reflecting on when I became so rigid, and I always trace it back to my journey into motherhood.
By nature, I am a perfectionist and have a strong need for control. I set high expectations for myself and those around me. In my life before children, this tendency was hardly an issue; I was the dependable friend who organized outings and the reliable colleague who ensured tasks were completed. I was able to respect others’ life choices without it impacting my own. My wedding was meticulously planned, and my honeymoon was filled with a detailed itinerary to optimize our experience—traits that my partner appreciated, as they allowed for a stress-free adventure.
However, since becoming a mother, my perfectionism and desire for control have intensified. I am acutely aware of this change, yet I struggle to manage it. I have distanced myself from family members whose habits or beliefs I disapprove of, fearing they may negatively influence my child. It may seem extreme, but I can’t help but feel this way. I find it difficult to allow anyone but my partner to drive with our daughter in the car, and I often question the need for others to spend time alone with her. My instinct is to monitor every word spoken to her, every interaction she has with others, and every experience she endures.
Before motherhood, I prided myself on my open-mindedness and compassion. Now, I find myself more judgmental and less accepting. Some may argue that this shift is merely a part of aging, but I believe it is a negative consequence of becoming a parent. I used to embrace the world’s complexities and accepted others’ rights to live according to their beliefs. While I still uphold this principle, internally, I struggle with it more than ever. The thought of outside influences leading my daughter astray fills me with anxiety.
Other changes are evident as well. I have become more sensitive and find myself crying more easily. My outlook has shifted toward negativity, heavily influenced by current events. The days of being perceived as perpetually optimistic are long gone. I frequently worry about the world my child will inherit. Although I recognize that many factors are beyond my control, this awareness only drives my urge to manage what I can even more fervently.
Becoming a mother has transformed me in many ways. It has deepened my capacity for love beyond anything I had anticipated. During challenging periods, such as when my daughter underwent major surgery, I discovered an inner strength and courage I never knew existed. Motherhood has allowed me to rediscover joy in the small moments and view the world through a child’s eyes. It has reignited my passion for teaching, with my daughter being my most significant student, while also encouraging me to learn new things for her benefit and from her perspective.
Yet, despite these positive transformations, I do not feel that I have become a better person. I continue to strive for that goal.
For more insights into the journey of parenthood, visit Home Insemination Kit. You can also explore this authority on artificial insemination for additional resources. Furthermore, March of Dimes provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
This article reflects on the author’s journey into motherhood, highlighting how certain personality traits, such as perfectionism and a need for control, have intensified since becoming a parent. While she acknowledges the profound love and strength motherhood has brought her, she feels it has not necessarily made her a better person. Instead, she grapples with increased judgment and anxiety, striving to find balance in her new role.